Chris: Hey, I got you something.
Tangee: Really? That's so sweet. What else?
Chris: What else, what?
Tangee: Where's the gift?
Chris: I only got you a card.
Tangee: That's it? It's Valentine's Day, and all you got me was this cheap-ass card?
Chris: I-I-I just met you.
Tangee: So? Where's the flowers? Where's the candy? I thought I meant something to you. I thought we had a connection. You know, I could have stayed with Clyde's sorry ass if this is how you were going to treat me.
Chris: Can you please quiet down?
Tangee: Oh, you don't tell me to be quiet. Why don't you be quiet? Better yet, shut up! Tell me to be quiet. You ain't my daddy!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Getting cursed out on a bus is not really how I expected to end my Valentine's Day, but it did prove my point. If you have a crush, you get crushed.
Tangee: This is nothing but a piece of paper! I don't need this!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Now, where was the bus driver with a bat when you needed him?
Tangee: And I'd kiss your little funky cheek, but I could have stayed with Clyde. Here, take back your stupid card.