Judy Geller: Chandler, you've been Ross' best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems, and now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.
Chandler: Thank you.
Jack Geller: No. Thank you!

Judy Geller: Well, we'd better get going. It's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night any more. He has trouble staying in his lane.
Jack Geller: Last winter, I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.

Jack Geller: Boy, a bad time to say the wrong name, huh, Ross?
Ross: That's true. Thanks, Dad.