Uncle Colm Quote #5

Quote from Uncle Colm in The Curse

Colm: And, now, I don't mind a bit of a breeze, if anything I prefer it, but thon was aggressive. So, I says to myself, says I, "Colm, this is no day for a do..."
Sister Michael: What's happening?
Colm: ...for, when the bride arrived and, as I say, by this stage the wind was fierce...
Sister Michael: Am I dead?
Colm: ...I've never heard wind like it.
Sister Michael: Is this my wake?
Colm: Howling like a banshee, it was.
Sister Michael: Am I in hell?
Colm: So, the poor girl, the bride now, this is, she arrives anyway and isn't she no sooner out of the car than she's lifted up in the air like a paper doll and blown into a flowerbed.
Sister Michael: That's actually quite funny.

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 ‘The Curse’ Quotes

Quote from James

James: OK, can I just check something? Everybody else can see the dead body, right?
Erin: It's just Bridie!
James: It's Bridie's corpse. It's Bridie's dead corpse.
Michelle: It's her wake. What were you expecting?
Erin: Haven't you ever seen a dead body before?
James: Of course not!
Michelle: Christ, but the English are weird.

Quote from Uncle Colm

Colm: John over there was just saying... You know John? Lovely fella. Married to, er, Patricia, I think it is, and her mother worked in the credit union, you might remember. Absolutely crippled with the old gallstones, so she was.
Mary: Christ Almighty.
Colm: And the gallstones... Well, now, they're no joke. A neighbour of mine, Dickie Dunnagan, by God, he was tortured with the gallstones. The size of golf balls they were.
Mary: And what did John say, Colm? For the love of God, what did he say?
Colm: He was telling me there, John was, that every being in the place is talking about Sarah's frock.
Sarah: Och, really?
Mary: Jesus, but this is an ordeal.
Colm: Well, at least they got a good day for it, Mary. I'll tell you, I was at one there, up in the Cathedral last week. By God, the wind could have cut you in two. Fierce it was, and now I don't mind a bit of a breeze. If anything, I prefer it. But thon was aggressive. And I says to myself, says I, "Colm, this is no day for a do." And as it turns out...
Mary: Can I just stop you there, Colm?
Colm: Surely, Mary. Go ahead.
Mary: Oh, no, I've got nothing to say. I just really, really need you to stop talking.
Colm: Fair enough.

Quote from Clare

Michelle: You're such a wreck-a-buzz, Clare.
Clare: Look, Michelle, drugs are illegal, drugs are addictive, but perhaps most importantly, in this country you can lose your kneecaps if you're caught doing them. And I like my kneecaps, Michelle. They suit my knees.
Orla: You do have cracking kneecaps, Clare.
James: Is that true?
Erin: Sort of.

 Colm McCool Quotes

Quote from Episode Two

Colm: There was a knock at the door. This must have been, ah, we're talking eight, half eight, for I was halfway through my dinner. And up I got to open it, and there they both were, large as life. And the taller fella, though, to be fair, there was no more than an inch in it...
Mary: Jesus wept.
Colm: The slightly taller fella, he says to me, says he, "Do you know who we are?"
Joe: How is a body supposed to enjoy his dinner?
Colm: And I says to him, says I, "Well, I can't be sure now. But maybe if you took off the balaclavas..." And then he says to me, the slightly taller fella does, he says, "Step aside, we are armed."
Orla: Class.
Colm: And that is when the smaller fella, although, as I say, we are talking an inch...
Erin: Mammy, make it stop.
Colm: ...an inch and a half at most.
Sarah: I need a drink.
Colm: He has the bright idea of tying me to the radiator, you see. And I remember saying to myself, says I, "Colm, it's a good job you have the Economy 7 on the aul timer, or you'd be roasted here."

Quote from The Curse

Colm: John over there was just saying... You know John? Lovely fella. Married to, er, Patricia, I think it is, and her mother worked in the credit union, you might remember. Absolutely crippled with the old gallstones, so she was.
Mary: Christ Almighty.
Colm: And the gallstones... Well, now, they're no joke. A neighbour of mine, Dickie Dunnagan, by God, he was tortured with the gallstones. The size of golf balls they were.
Mary: And what did John say, Colm? For the love of God, what did he say?
Colm: He was telling me there, John was, that every being in the place is talking about Sarah's frock.
Sarah: Och, really?
Mary: Jesus, but this is an ordeal.
Colm: Well, at least they got a good day for it, Mary. I'll tell you, I was at one there, up in the Cathedral last week. By God, the wind could have cut you in two. Fierce it was, and now I don't mind a bit of a breeze. If anything, I prefer it. But thon was aggressive. And I says to myself, says I, "Colm, this is no day for a do." And as it turns out...
Mary: Can I just stop you there, Colm?
Colm: Surely, Mary. Go ahead.
Mary: Oh, no, I've got nothing to say. I just really, really need you to stop talking.
Colm: Fair enough.

Quote from Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague

Mary: But Colm's not here, is he, Da? Da?
Colm: [to the girl at the counter] ... And that's not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn't enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch... What was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it'll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and, as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure, he couldn't get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn't he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it's not how I'd want to go.
Mary: [to the girl] I know, love. I know.