Woody Quote #219
Quote from Woody in Pudd'n Head Boyd
Mary: Good evening, ma'am.
Woody: Oh, hello, there. Oh, thank you. I'm blind as a bat without glasses.
Woody: I've never seen a bat with glasses.
Mary: That's funny.
Woody: [chuckling] Yeah, I can imagine.
Mary: I believe it might rain soon.
Woody: [as Twain] "One of the brightest gems of the New England weather is the dazzling uncertainty of it."
Mary: [chuckling] Well, what can you do?
Woody: "Everybody talks about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it."
Mary: Uh, may I have a glass of white wine, please?
Woody: Wine. White wine. Uh... Let's see, now. They have a lot of wine in San Francisco, don't they?
Mary: Oh, I suppose they do.
Woody: "One of the coldest winters I ever spent was summer in San Francisco." Sorry, that's as close as I could get.
Mary: [chuckling] You're rather amusing.
Woody: Well, thanks. But I've been quoting Mark Twain.
Mary: I know; I think that's amusing. And, uh, I suppose that you've been told that you look something like him.
Woody: Yeah, I get that a lot. You know, you look a little bit like Emily Dickinson. She's one of the authors in hell.
Mary: Oh, that's an unkind assumption, sir. Although she's never been one of my favorites, either.
Cheers Quotes
‘Pudd'n Head Boyd’ Quotes
Quote from Norm
Sam: Folks, I have a bit of bad news that may affect a lot of you. I'm not going to beat around the bush, I'm just going to come right out and say it. Last call. [patrons groan]
Norm: Well, what the heck, maybe I'll give Vera a thrill and go home a little early tonight. Although, you know, she did look kind of thrilled when I left.
Quote from Lilith
Sam: You guys look like you had a good time.
Frasier: We had oodles of fun. And we lost a combined 11 pounds to boot.
Cliff: Wait, you lost weight on a cruise? I heard there were wall-to-wall meals.
Lilith: There were also wall-to-wall waves.
Frasier: Yes. Well, fortunately, after three days of giving Chef Hugo's fine cuisine back to the sea, we were fitted with these little, uh, ear patches. They seemed to do the trick.
Lilith: And put us to sleep for the rest of the trip.
Carla: So you guys spent seven days and nights snoozing and barfing your way through the Caribbean?
Lilith: And we've never felt slimmer and more refreshed.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Gather 'round, everybody. I'm going to do Authors in Hell. I mean, if that's all right with you, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Well, I was planning to wait for the movie, but go ahead.
Woody: Imagine if you will a huge book opens up, and l - Mark Twain - step out. I am surrounded by various tormented American writers. And Satan. The lights dim. [as Twain] Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted. Persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished. Persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. [a patron coughs as Woody smokes a cigar]
Rebecca: Woody, go on.
Woody: Well, I just sit here and smoke. I don't talk again till the middle of act four.