Cliff Quote #235
Quote from Cliff in Don Juan Is Hell
Reporter: Excuse me, is there a Cliff Clovin here?
Cliff: It's Cliff Clavin, partner, and you're looking at him.
Reporter: Oh, hi. I'm a reporter from the Chronicle. You the guy that sent in this picture of a squash with the Hawaiian Islands on it.
Cliff: Yeah. Yeah. What did I tell you guys? This is one story they couldn't squash. There you go.
Reporter: To be honest, it's not the squash I'm looking for. Actually, it's a part of a larger story on eccentrics here in Boston. You know, the lunatic fringe. Lonely people desperate for attention.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, but where do I fit in?
Reporter: You come right after the old lady with the 84 snakes.
Cliff: Okay, I'm insulted, and I'll thank you to leave this bar.
Reporter: They don't pay me enough.
Norm: Cliffy. All right, you stuck up to that guy. You didn't let him exploit you.
Cliff: Yeah. Who the hell they think they're dealing with, huh? I ain't giving my squash second billing to a broad with a bunch of snakes. Hey, how would you like to get a look inside that old bag's head, huh?
Cheers Quotes
‘Don Juan Is Hell’ Quotes
Quote from Diane
Diane: You didn't read this, did you?
Sam: Didn't have to, I lived it.
Diane: Sit down, please. "Trevor is the image of the arrested adolescent, entirely self-oriented, still intimidated by the women around him and attempting to prove himself superior to them. Through sexual conquest he can, for a time, quell his constant fears of inferiority and failure. Indeed, the idea of a nonsexual relationship is completely foreign to him. As the years pass and his physical attractiveness diminishes, he'll be doomed to a life of loneliness and despair, unable to give or receive love."
Sam: Is this really how you feel about me?
Diane: This is my clinical view of you. As a woman, I might have felt something different than I feel as an academician.
Sam: It makes my life seem so cheap and pathetic.
Diane: Sam, you're reading things into this.
Sam: Like here where it says: "His life is cheap and pathetic."
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Hey, everybody. Guess what I grew in my greenhouse?
Carla: Not another potato that looks like Richard Nixon.
Cliff: No, I learned the error of my ways there. Yeah, I guess I was pretty off the deep end then, huh? No, but this is nothing like that. Look at that. A map of the Hawaiian Islands. See the little bumps in the exact shape and formation of our 50th state. Here, Norm.
Norm: Come on, Cliff, don't make me look, please.
Cliff: Normy, Normy, this is one of nature's fascinating little mutations here.
Carla: Resting in the hands of one of her bigger ones.
Cliff: All right, no skin off my nose. I'll just put it in the bag and take it on home. [to a pair of customers] Hey, guess what's in the bag.
Quote from Sam
Sam: I'm going to prepare my lecture, here. You know, it's about time I gave something back to the sport that's given me so much.
Diane: Sam, I think you should read this after all.
Sam: Oh.
Diane: It's not what you think. Now, if you change your mind about the class coming here tonight, call me at home. I'll understand.
Sam: "The Don Juan Syndrome in Modern Culture: An Analysis of Sat-- Sate-- Sater-- Satyriasis." Oh, man, she did it. She even made my sex life boring.
Carla: And not for the first time.