Cliff Quote #234
Quote from Cliff in Don Juan Is Hell
Cliff: Hey, everybody. Guess what I grew in my greenhouse?
Carla: Not another potato that looks like Richard Nixon.
Cliff: No, I learned the error of my ways there. Yeah, I guess I was pretty off the deep end then, huh? No, but this is nothing like that. Look at that. A map of the Hawaiian Islands. See the little bumps in the exact shape and formation of our 50th state. Here, Norm.
Norm: Come on, Cliff, don't make me look, please.
Cliff: Normy, Normy, this is one of nature's fascinating little mutations here.
Carla: Resting in the hands of one of her bigger ones.
Cliff: All right, no skin off my nose. I'll just put it in the bag and take it on home. [to a pair of customers] Hey, guess what's in the bag.
Cheers Quotes
‘Don Juan Is Hell’ Quotes
Quote from Diane
Diane: You didn't read this, did you?
Sam: Didn't have to, I lived it.
Diane: Sit down, please. "Trevor is the image of the arrested adolescent, entirely self-oriented, still intimidated by the women around him and attempting to prove himself superior to them. Through sexual conquest he can, for a time, quell his constant fears of inferiority and failure. Indeed, the idea of a nonsexual relationship is completely foreign to him. As the years pass and his physical attractiveness diminishes, he'll be doomed to a life of loneliness and despair, unable to give or receive love."
Sam: Is this really how you feel about me?
Diane: This is my clinical view of you. As a woman, I might have felt something different than I feel as an academician.
Sam: It makes my life seem so cheap and pathetic.
Diane: Sam, you're reading things into this.
Sam: Like here where it says: "His life is cheap and pathetic."
Quote from Sam
Sam: I'm going to prepare my lecture, here. You know, it's about time I gave something back to the sport that's given me so much.
Diane: Sam, I think you should read this after all.
Sam: Oh.
Diane: It's not what you think. Now, if you change your mind about the class coming here tonight, call me at home. I'll understand.
Sam: "The Don Juan Syndrome in Modern Culture: An Analysis of Sat-- Sate-- Sater-- Satyriasis." Oh, man, she did it. She even made my sex life boring.
Carla: And not for the first time.
Quote from Sam
Sam: All right. All right. Let's see where were we? You wanted to know about my first time, right?
Diane: Yes. How old were you?
Sam: Boy, I'm not sure. I know I couldn't get to her house until the crossing guard showed up. Wow. First time is kind of hard to remember. What about your first time?
Diane: I'm the scientist, Sam. My first time has nothing to do with this. But just to lay the subject to rest, it was the summer of my 19th year. He was a young man in uniform. It was a brief encounter. He left my arms and went to his doom.
Sam: Oh, no, he was killed, huh?
Diane: No, no, he went off to boot camp and came back with the most God-awful haircut I'd ever seen. Now, may we get back to you? And limit your responses to attitudes. Please leave out the gory details. Now, what about your second encounter?
Sam: Well, that would be the crossing guard.