Sam Quote #1475

Quote from Sam in Cheers Has Chilli

Fire Marshal Dobbins: Sam, we got a tip that Cheers is operating a kitchen without a permit.
Anything to that?
Sam: Oh, gosh no. I don't think anything that would concern you, you know, just a couple of exposed propane tanks, unventilated hot plate. I mean, but that... Oh, now wait a second. Gee, that's a... That's a potential fire hazard. And you, you're a fire marshal. What was I thinking?
Fire Marshal Dobbins: I think I'll just take a look-see.
Sam: [to Carla] Maybe I shouldn't have called the fire department. Maybe that was wrong.
Carla: Don't chicken out now, Sam.
Sam: No, no, no, maybe I shoulda put a mouse in the chili and called the health department. That would have been funnier.

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 ‘Cheers Has Chilli’ Quotes

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Now you'll notice on the menu that we have a a wide selection of sandwiches and delectables, and, uh, many, many varieties of tea. So, what can I get you?
Frasier: Just some tea, please.
Rebecca: That's it? Just tea? Well, perhaps I could tempt you with some tiny little sandwiches or fresh biscuits? Scones?
Lilith: We're both watching our diets, so two pots of Orange Pekoe would be lovely.
Frasier: Hon, maybe we should split a pot.
Rebecca: Well, per- Perhaps one of my slightly more expensive herbal teas?
Frasier: Uh, no, thank you.
Rebecca: [scoffs] You guys cannot just have tea. Tea is a loss leader. I lose money just boiling the water. And, Lilith, look. [blows through lips] You are hardly fat. You are borderline anorexic. Just pig out! Order some strawberry tarts.
Lilith: Strawberries make me break out.
Rebecca: Well, at least that will put a little color in your face.
Lilith: Perhaps we won't have anything at all.
Rebecca: Fine! I don't really care. Get out! Thanks for coming. Tell all your friends.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: What are you doing, Cliff?
Cliff: What? Well, I'm, uh, leaving a tip there for Carla.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Yeah, one of the oldest bar tricks in the book there, Normie. Look, you see I filled the glass with water. I'm gonna invert it on top of this dollar bill. Put it on the bar, right? Looks... Looks, uh, empty now, doesn't it?
Norm: Mm-hmm.
Cliff: Well, watch what happens when she comes to get her tip. Fasten your seat belts and wait for the fun to begin.
Carla: Oh.
[Carla inverts the glass, takes the note and then throws the water in Cliff's face]
Carla: Thanks for the tip, Cliff.
Cliff: Uh, joke's still on her. She's the one that's got to mop up all this mess. [Carla wipes Cliff's face with the mop] Thank you, Carla. Your apology's accepted.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Quick, Normie, turn on the Weather Channel.
Norm: You know, I wonder if that sentence has ever been spoken before.