Cliff Quote #524

Quote from Cliff in For Real Men Only

Woody: Say, did his bellybutton fall off yet?
Frasier: Any day now.
Norm: What, what do you mean?
Frasier: Well, you see, when the umbilical cord is severed, the remaining umbilicus stays attached to the naval for several days, during which time it, uh, comes to resemble a sort of shriveled, week-old banana.
Cliff: Hey, you know, it's very funny you use that analogy because the, uh, human umbilical cord if memory serves is 90% potassium.
Frasier: Stay away from the baby, will you, Cliff?


 ‘For Real Men Only’ Quotes

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Uh, yeah, this is nothing anyway. The original rites of passage, uh, started with the jungle tribes down in Borneo.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: When young jungle tribal lad was, uh, on the brink of puberty, they'd bring him forward and, uh, take out this large, sharpened clamshell-
Sam: Oh, no, no. Don't tell me.
Cliff: They would, uh, fill it with dip, pass it around with the hors d'oeuvres.
Sam: Oh.
Cliff: Then they'd take these two big jagged rocks...
Norm: no, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, Cliff.
Cliff: ...bang them together to call the tribes out of the hills. You know, then the, uh, witch doctor stepped up With this long, sharpened bamboo staff...
Woody: Oh, here it comes.
Cliff: ...shoved it into the ground and hung a flag on it. Then they danced around it pretty much till they dropped really.
Sam: Wait. W-W-When do they circumcise the kid?
Cliff: What do you mean, circumcise? There are no Jews in Borneo, you mulyock.

Quote from Woody

Woody: This is a piece of my very first baby blanket.
Norm: Now, uh, what do those little dots signify?
Woody: Well, that represents my very first childhood disease, smallpox. I almost died. [rubs it against his face]
Cliff: Well, what's that, uh, long green thing there?
Woody: Oh, uh, this is the beanstalk from my first high school play. I fell off of it in the first act, cracked 2 ribs and punctured a lung. I almost died. Oh, this red patch here represents the big fire that burned down my house when I was 6.
Norm: And what, you almost died?
Woody: No, I got out. But while I was running away, I fell in this well, right here and I almost... Well, you know.

 Cliff Clavin Quotes

Quote from Coach in Love, Part 1

Cliff: Norm, it's a little known fact the word "Florida" comes from the language of the Okefenokee Indians and it means literally, "place where the old people come to sweat".

Quote from What Is... Cliff Clavin?

Alex Trebek: Cliff, it's all right, you don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet "22,000 big ones"? Which takes you down to zero. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff: It's because I knew that those people had never been in my kitchen. You can ask them. Come on, Tony Curtis is still alive. Get him on the phone, go ahead, I'll pay for the call.
Alex Trebek: Isn't going to work, Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 is not a big total, but today it's enough to make you the new Jeopardy! champion. So congratulations.
Cliff: No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions! You saw me, America! Write in and tell them!
Norm: Come on, Wood, if we sneak out right now, nobody will know we're with him.
Cliff: Tony Curtis, if you're out there, if you can hear me, call in, and I'll split the pot with you. Ah, for crying out loud, look... Any mail carriers out there?