Carla: Good evening, Mr. Clavin. How lovely to see you again.
Cliff: It's a trick, isn't it? You're gonna hurt me.
Norm: Yeah, what's the story here, Carla? You've been acting very strange all evening.
Carla: Why? What did I do?
Norm: Well, for example, you've poured me three beers without once flicking the foam up my nose.
Woody: You haven't even spit on anybody.
Sam: What is it, honey? Trouble at home?
Carla: All right, I'm gonna tell you guys. I went to see Madam Lazora this morning.
Woody: Your fortune teller?
Carla: Palmist. Anyway, she told me that my courtesy to others tonight could result in substantial wealth.
Sam: Ah.
Carla: And I'm telling you, tonight I'm taking no chances.
Norm: What, you're not even going to insult anybody?
Carla: Well, not unless I can do it so subtly that he doesn't know he's been insulted. No, tonight the bigger jackass a guy is, the more courteous I am gonna be. I'll start with numero uno. Now, I do hope you'll allow me the incredible privilege of serving you a beer, Mr. Clavin.

Frasier: It's, uh, a marriage manual. It's entitled, the, uh, The Forever Couple: The Joy of Loving One Person For the Rest of Your Life.
Norm: Ah, science-fiction. Those usually sell great.
Frasier: But you know, success does have its price tag. He's been away from his wife, Valerie, for the better part of a year. Jeez, you know, I think I'd go crazy if I was away from Lilith for that long. I don't even like to think about it.
Sam: Yeah, I'll bet.
Frasier: Well, I do think about it. I don't enjoy it.
Sam: I'm sure not.
Frasier: Well, I do enjoy it, but I'm not proud of the fact.

Dr. Crandell: I make it a point to tell my wife at least once a day, "You're my world, you're my life, I love you."
Norm: I'll bet my wife would love to hear those words. Could you give her a call?