Frasier Quote #122
Diane: Oh, Frasier, please tell me where Sam is. I have to talk with him.
Frasier: Diane, in light of your disposal of him last night, I think it's better that he be left alone right now.
Diane: That poor man. Can you imagine how he must feel?
Frasier: Gee, I'll try.
Quote from Veggie-Boyd
Sam: These are, uh, trivia napkins. Ever since I got the bar back, I've been looking for ways to say, "Hey, thank you for patronizing me."
Frasier: Oh, Sam, I- I know you wanted to use a great big word there. I think that's marvelous, but I believe what you meant to say was, "Thank you for your patronage."
Sam: Really? What's the difference?
Frasier: Patronage means customers. Patronizing is the way one would talk to a small, dull child.
Sam: Kind of like how you're talking to me right now?
Frasier: Aren't you cute!
Quote from The Beer Is Always Greener
Lilith: Now, now. You two... Perhaps a page from Frasier's and my personal history will calm the waters. Woody, Kelly. I am Jewish and Frasier is Episcopalian. Now originally, we feared this might cause conflict in our marriage. But then we learned to compromise, even in the raising of our son, Frederick. We make sure he experiences both sides of his religious heritage.
Frasier: As usual, my darling wife is right. Frederick goes to synagogue every Friday night. He delights in hiding matzos at Passover. The family celebrates Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Christmas comes and goes without so much as a tree. Odd, really, because a Christmas tree isn't even symbolic of Christianity. But apparently it threatens Lilith's Jewish faith. Look out, everybody! A fir tree! 5,000-year-old religion and Frasier Crane's going to bring it down with a four-foot tree and some tinsel!
Quote from Rich Man, Wood Man
Sam: What the hell's wrong with him?
Frasier: Well, it's a common phenomenon, really. A young, impressionable lad, such as Woody, gets his first taste of a foreign country, and he comes back a little affected. I mean, give him a few hours, he'll be fine. You know, I remember when I came back from my first trip abroad. Oh, God, I was pompous and unbearable! Condescending to all my old friends. Of course, I wouldn't expect you fellows to understand. It's a complicated matter.
Quote from Sam
Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Good afternoon, everybody.
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson. What's the story?
Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy gets another beer.
Quote from Sam
Sam: Everything just got calm.
Diane: I don't notice any difference.
Sam: Oh, yes, yes. There's a difference in everything. The whole world just changed for me. Oh! Look! The stars are new. The moon is new. Sam Malone is new, and I like him. And I like them, and they like me. And none of us like you.
Diane: Am I going overboard again?
Sam: No, no, no, don't be silly. That would mean I care, and I don't. Bye-bye, Diane.
Diane: Where are you going?
Sam: I'm going to swim ashore.
Diane: You can't do that.
Sam: Very well, I'll take the dinghy. You see how quickly the new Sam adjusts?
Diane: You're going to just leave me out here all alone?
Sam: Yes, I am.
Diane: Sam. Sam Malone. If you leave me out here all alone, you are the most despicable creature on Earth!
Sam: Well, I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam. [whistles "Popeye the Sailor Man"]