Sam Quote #681
Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.
Quote from I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday
Diane: Sam, I know you to be a man of pride and principle, but strength is also to be found in the ability to bend. Witness the willow, nature's strongest tree.
Sam: No, I thought the oak was the strongest tree.
Diane: Only in furniture.
Sam: What about the saying "strong as the mighty oak"?
Diane: The oak can be felled by a single harsh wind under the right circumstances.
Sam: All right, but what about birch and mahogany? Now, those--
Diane: Would you shut up about the damn trees?
Sam: You brought them up.
Quote from Cry Hard
Sam: How much are you going to take before you realize this guy is no good for you?
Rebecca: I don't know, Sam. How much does it take when you're in love with someone? You know, I've heard stories about you and that Diane girl. You put up with her for 5 years. 5 years! What about that?
Sam: Sweetheart, if I could have sent her to prison, don't you think I would have?
Quote from Bidding on the Boys
Sam: Come on, man, she's just doing it to make you jealous.
Frasier: Oh, God, I'm losing her, Sam.
Sam: Oh, would you stop that? You're my friend. I'm never going to take a woman away from you.
Frasier: What about Diane?
Sam: And didn't God punish me with a vengeance?
Frasier: Well, yes, but gee whiz, Sam...
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Good afternoon, everybody.
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson. What's the story?
Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy gets another beer.
Quote from Frasier
Diane: Oh, Frasier, please tell me where Sam is. I have to talk with him.
Frasier: Diane, in light of your disposal of him last night, I think it's better that he be left alone right now.
Diane: That poor man. Can you imagine how he must feel?
Frasier: Gee, I'll try.
Quote from Sam
Sam: Everything just got calm.
Diane: I don't notice any difference.
Sam: Oh, yes, yes. There's a difference in everything. The whole world just changed for me. Oh! Look! The stars are new. The moon is new. Sam Malone is new, and I like him. And I like them, and they like me. And none of us like you.
Diane: Am I going overboard again?
Sam: No, no, no, don't be silly. That would mean I care, and I don't. Bye-bye, Diane.
Diane: Where are you going?
Sam: I'm going to swim ashore.
Diane: You can't do that.
Sam: Very well, I'll take the dinghy. You see how quickly the new Sam adjusts?
Diane: You're going to just leave me out here all alone?
Sam: Yes, I am.
Diane: Sam. Sam Malone. If you leave me out here all alone, you are the most despicable creature on Earth!
Sam: Well, I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam. [whistles "Popeye the Sailor Man"]