Sam Quote #562

Quote from Sam in The Barstoolie

Claudia: I'm afraid we're just not what each other's looking for.
Sam: All right, maybe you're right. Oh, wait, listen, here. I wanna wish you a happy life. As happy as you can be without me. [laughs] Oh, come on. There are no hard feelings here, are there?
Claudia: No, no, on the contrary. I'm glad that this happened. Because I feel that everything, no matter how degrading and humiliating, should be experienced at least once in life.
Sam: Well, wait a second, here, Claudia. Let's talk about this. Claudia.

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 ‘The Barstoolie’ Quotes

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: It's obvious, isn't it? My father didn't trust me, so he gave me the slip out of the bathroom window. Guess I'll just go home.
Carla: Well, you're ruling out the other possibility.
Cliff: What other possibility?
Carla: Well, it's a little-known fact, but more and more people have been going into men's rooms and vaporizing. I mean, just disappearing into thin air. It's an unexplained phenomenon.
Norm: It's kind of like the Bermuda Triangle.
Carla: That's right.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get serious, will you.
Carla: Have it your way.
Cliff: Well, you know, however, this much is true, you know. There's been recent sightings of human beings being shot up into the underbelly of alien spacecraft. You know, and speaking of the Bermuda Triangle, it's not technically a triangle.
Woody: It's not?
Cliff: Heck, no! It's a trapezedo-rhomboid. They're perfect for attracting Martian spacecraft.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Oh, yeah, and after all, the game of billiards was invented by the ancient Phoenicians, Norm. Well, however, it did gain newfound popularity after a group of Benedictine monks invented felt.

Quote from Diane

Diane: Sam, two Beefeater martinis, please. [Sam hums] Well, you're just bubbling with energy. Oh, you must've mastered the childproof cap on your Flintstones vitamins.