Woody Quote #837
Quote from Woody in Woody Gets an Election
Holly Matheson: Let's start with our police force. Morale is at an all-time low. Officers are underpaid and overworked. What do you plan to do?
Woody: Well, I don't know much about big city stuff. I was raised on a farm.
Holly Matheson: Oh, I get it. This is your hook. You're the innocent farm boy telling the big city slickers to clean up the barn and all that farm crap.
Woody: Well, no, it's not crap. If you don't clean up the barn, you get rats.
Holly Matheson: Yes, yes. So in other words, it's time to clean up city hall.
Woody: Well, I'm just saying that, uh, if you let the rats go, then, uh, you know, pretty soon you don't have a barn. You just have kind of a... a rat place.
Holly Matheson: Okay. So if we don't do something now, we'll lose our fair city. Blah, blah, blah.
Woody: You know, my Grandpa Boyd caught a rat the size of a pig. Or was it a pig the size of a rat? Well, either way, it was a big hit at the county fair.
Holly Matheson: So what you're saying is, there are no easy answers.
Woody: Well, not for me, there aren't.
Holly Matheson: You really believe this farm stuff, don't you?
Woody: With all my heart.
Holly Matheson: Well, it's kind of a cornball message, but you just might be the kind of guy who can sell that stuff.
Woody: Oh, thanks, ma'am. [goes to shake her hand as she walks away]
Frasier: Woody, that was absolutely brilliant.
Woody: [scoffs] Some reporter. She didn't even want to ask me about politics.
Cheers Quotes
‘Woody Gets an Election’ Quotes
Quote from Frasier
Woody: I don't know if I can handle a debate, Dr. Crane. I'm not very good at rendering my opinions.
Frasier: Nothing to worry about, Woody. Just tell some more of those farm stories, people seem to love those. If that doesn't work, just say the word "change" about a hundred times. Come on, let's go to my place and work on it. Trust me, Woody, with my brains and your smile, who knows how high we can go. Congressman, senator... [breathily] Who knows?
Quote from Woody
Frasier: Thank God I got to you in time! I've got to talk... What are you reading?
Woody: Well, I'm boning up on the Constitution in case I ever decide to run for Congreff.
Frasier: It's Congress, Woody. In colonial times, the S's looked like F's.
Woody: Oh. Well, if I'm elected, that's the first thing I'm gonna change.
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Hey, holy moly, guacamole, Normie.
Norm: Hey, what? Huh?
Cliff: See that guy down there? I think that might be Spanky McFarland from the old Little Rascals.
Norm: Get out.
Cliff: Yeah, I think so.
Norm: Really?
Cliff: Hey, I'll go ask him. I'll go check it out. [humming The Little Rascals theme] Hey, how are you doing, Sid?
Spanky McFarland: Hi.
Cliff: Hey, uh, my name's Cliff Clavin.
Spanky McFarland: Hello, Cliff.
Cliff: You know, I... I know you've probably heard this a thousand times before, but you do resemble that, uh, child actor Spanky McFarland from The Little Rascals.
Spanky McFarland: Well, that's because...
Cliff: 'Cause I'm one of Little Rascals fan there ever was. I mean I've got every episode on tape, you know. Well, except "Free Eats" and, uh, "Captain Spanky's Showboat."
Spanky McFarland: That's great.
Cliff: Yeah, Alfalfa, Darla, Buckwheat. [chuckles] Hey, I got to confess, I had quite a big crush on Darla. I'll tell you, you know, if you were Spanky, boy, I could sit here and chew on your ear for hours, you know, about the, you know, "Happy Birthday, Mr. Hood" and the "He-Man Women Haters Club." And remember the sound the cake made coming out of the oven? Was it... [makes groaning noise] Huh? So, uh, are-are you Spanky?
Spanky McFarland: Nope.
Cliff: Ah. Take care. Catch you later.
Norm: You are Spanky, aren't you?
Spanky McFarland: Oh, yeah.