Nick Tortelli Quote #29
Quote from Nick Tortelli in If Ever I Would Leave You
Norm: Carla, for what it's worth, Cliff and I took alley-oop there to the drive-in over the weekend. All he could talk about was you. Miss Carla this. Miss Carla that.
Carla: Listen, listen, listen. I am tired of hearing all of you defending that walking hairball. You want to see why I don't fall for his act?
Sam: Yeah, if you don't mind, I would.
Carla: OK, watch. [to Sam] What's the extension in your office? Uh, 2... 21. [on the phone as Loretta] Nick? This is Loretta. I've been getting some of those old feelings again, daddy. I think we should get together and talk. I'm at the Baldwin Hotel. How soon do you think you get over?
Nick Tortelli: [runs out of Sam's office] I've got to get some cigarettes.
Carla: You don't smoke!
Nick Tortelli: I'm going to start. I heard good things. No. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. You know where I was going? Loretta called me and she wanted to talk to me. And I was about to go. Then you know what happened? I thought of you and I came to my senses. [all aw]
Sam: You know, that wasn't Loretta, Nick. That was Carla on the phone.
Nick Tortelli: That was you?
Carla: [as Loretta] Yes, daddy.
Nick Tortelli: That was a test? And I passed with flying colors. Now do you believe me?
Cheers Quotes
‘If Ever I Would Leave You’ Quotes
Quote from Sam
Norm: Sammy, when's the Coach gonna get back from visiting his sister?
Sam: Uh, he'll be in Minnesota at least another week.
Cliff: Is his sister anything, you know, like the Coach?
Sam: Let me put it this way. He asked her to pick him up at the airport. She thought he meant the Boston airport so she drove all the way here to pick him up. Fortunately, that's what he meant. They had lunch at the airport. Then they drove on to St. Paul.
Cliff: Wait. Uh, I thought she lived in Duluth, there.
Sam: She does, but they don't like the food at the airport in Duluth. You know, actually, Coach will probably be back before I could explain this to you.
Quote from Nick Tortelli
Diane: Oh, Nick Tortelli, this is someone with whom you have absolutely nothing in common, my paramour, Dr. Frasier Crane.
Nick Tortelli: Uh, doctor of what? Can you get any pills?
Frasier: I'm a psychiatrist. Uh, have we met? You wouldn't by any chance be the bogus missing link exhibited at the Amsterdam World's Fair?
Nick Tortelli: No, but you're not the first person who asked me. I wish I had done something like that. Maybe my life would be worth something.
Quote from Cliff
Nick Tortelli: Well, she ran out on me. You see, she always wanted to be a singer. She got an offer from this big musical group that's touring the country. The Grinning Americans.
Frasier: The grinning what?
Cliff: Well, they're a group of wholesome young people, who wear, you know, pullover sweaters, sing patriotic songs. You know, they've had me and Ma marching around the living room on more than one Sunday afternoon, I can tell you.
Frasier: Cliff. You live with your mother, Cliff?
Cliff: I have my own room. I have my own hot plate. You want to read something sicko into that?