Diane Quote #253
Quote from Diane in Fortune and Men's Weight
Diane: Do you remember that fortune I got today?
Sam: No.
Diane: "Deception in romance proves costly."
Sam: So?
Diane: I took another man to that show last night.
Sam: You mean, like a guy?
Diane: At least pay attention. He's a classmate of mine. A male classmate.
Sam: Well, so you took some pimply, bookface, wimp from school. Big deal.
Diane: His complexion is almost as clear as mine and we had a wonderful time.
Sam: At the performance?
Diane: Yes. Well, of course he took me home.
Sam: Uh-huh. And?
Diane: I invited him in. We had coffee. He left. That was it.
Sam: Instant coffee or did you grind the beans?
Diane: It wasn't the same as it is with you. I didn't grind them fine.
Sam: You did grind the beans, huh?
Diane: All we did was talk.
Sam: You didn't kiss him?
Diane: Oh, I kissed him good night, but it was nothing. It was barely on the lips. Wayward to the side, up by the cheeks. Very dry. I have to be honest. It was so good to talk to someone. I miss talking about the things I can't talk about with you. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd be angry.
Cheers Quotes
‘Fortune and Men's Weight’ Quotes
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Coach: How does a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I don't know, Coach. I usually finish 'em before they get a word in.
Quote from Norm
Norm: It says, "Your most troublesome problem will soon be solved."
Cliff: Hey, Norm sounds like you're going to get a trim on the old antlers tonight, huh?
Coach: Norm, what's your most troublesome problem?
Norm: You know, that's tough to say, Coach. Let's see. I'm overweight, unemployed, separated, depressed, starting to drink too much. I guess my biggest problem is I've never been happier.
Quote from Coach
Sam: Coach, why did you do this? I've told you a thousand times, don't buy anything for the bar without checking with me.
Coach: Gee, I'm sorry, Sam. That salesman, I just couldn't resist him. I mean, he had a way about him.
Sam: One of those fast talkers?
Coach: No, no. No, no. This big tall skinny guy with a beard. He reminded me of somebody in history. Uh, a president. The guy who freed the slaves.
Sam: Abraham Lincoln?
Coach: Only this guy wasn't nice at all. As a matter of fact, he was kind of mean. He reminded me of that little guy in Germany with the mustache. World War II.
Sam: Adolf Hitler?
Coach: Boy, don't play trivia with this guy.
Norm: Coach, you mean this guy was a cross between Abraham Lincoln and Hitler?
Coach: Normie, I don't know. I just want to tell you, he was strange, Normie. He was all dressed in black, and his eyes shined like coals and he had this deep voice and he said to me, [deep voice, German accent] "This scale will not only tell you your weight, but it will tell you your destiny."
Diane: He had an accent?
Coach: No.
Carla: Then why did you say it like, [German accent] your weight and your destiny?
Coach: Just a little color, Carla.