Rebecca: Sam was supposed to be in hours ago. Has anybody heard from him yet?
Carla: No one's heard a word from him in weeks.
Martin Teal: [enters] Hello, Rebecca. Heard from Sam recently?
Rebecca: Have l? Every hour on the hour. It's almost embarrassing.
Martin Teal: Hmm. Well, then what's happened seems all the more curious.
Rebecca: What's happened?
Dennis: According to our reports, Mr. Malone missed the corporate jet home.
Rebecca: Uh well, I'm sure there's a simple explanation. I'll just call Cancun this afternoon and find out what the trouble is.
Dennis: We have Cancun on the line.
Rebecca: You are so helpful.
Dennis: I am five months from retirement.

Cliff: Hey, uh, Ramon. Listen, we're heading over to Casa de Clavin for our weekly video film classic. You want to take Sammy's seat?
Ramon: I'm busy.
Cliff: Yeah, well, I've got it rented for a couple of days. How about tomorrow night?
Ramon: Uh... I am busy.
Norm: Yeah?
Ramon: Sorry.
Cliff: Yeah, well, he's a nice guy, that Ramon, but he's no Sammy, is he, Norm?
[Ramon walks out with two attractive women]
Norm: But then again, Cliffie he's a lot more Sammy than you and I will ever be.

Rebecca: Hi, honey, you're home. See? Aren't I gonna make you a wonderful wife?
Martin Teal: You've been drinking, haven't you?
Rebecca: Just a sippy or two to celebrate.
Martin Teal: Well, now that Sam's out of the picture, I assume that leaves the path clear for me. Shall we proceed? Rebecca will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?
Rebecca: I guess.
Martin Teal: Outstanding. Shall we set a date?
Rebecca: [scoffs] Whenever. I don't care.
Martin Teal: You're about to see my impulsive side. This is Justice of the Peace Wilson, these are four dozen long-stemmed red roses. I'm the perspective bridegroom. Guess what you are?
Rebecca: Dead meat on a hook?

Rebecca: Um... Martin, you can't do this. My parents aren't here. Your parents aren't here.
Martin Teal: My mother passed away, and, uh, you know my father.
Rebecca: Dennis?
Dennis: Welcome to the family.

Rebecca: I don't believe this. You came all the way back here just for me? I just feel so terrible for everything I ever said or did to you.
Sam: Well, gee, now, there must be some way you can thank me.
Rebecca: You're right, Sam. I think the time has finally come.
Sam: Yeah.
Rebecca: You've waited long enough. Oh... [passes out]
Sam: Oh, no. That's funny. Usually they pass out afterwards. [looks at Rebecca] No, no, no. I am a gentleman. [walks away] But I may never have this chance again.
[Sam returns, grabs a marker pen from the bar, draws a mustache on Rebecca and puts the sombrero on her head.]

Rebecca: If you won't listen to my pleas, maybe you'll listen to this. [pulls out a gun] You're coming with me, Sam.
Sam: Now let's not do anything crazy here.
Rebecca: I bet you wish you had those underpants now.
Sam: Listen, I'm gonna just reach out my hand here real slowly. I want you to relax and take your finger off the trigger. Just put the gun in my hand.
Rebecca: I'm sorry it's not loaded. I mean, I'm sorry, period. It's not loaded, period.
Sam: It's- It's all right, everybody. It was just a just a joke. [all groaning]
Rebecca: I'm gonna go now.
Sam: W- W- Where do you think you're going? You can't just walk out of here. You pulled a gun on me in a resort in the middle of a foreign country. They have laws, you know? Don't they? [Pepe shrugs]
Rebecca: Good-bye, Sam.