Sam: You know, I wish I had the money so I could take care of the kid myself.
Coach: Me, too, Sam.
Diane: Wait, I've got a wonderful idea. We are always taking up collections for little league teams and gifts to orphans. We are now going to take up a collection to help Carla. I think Cheers should adopt this child.
Sam: You know, that's not such a stupid idea. I mean, we could all take turns doing things with the kid.
Diane: Right.
Sam: I could teach him how to pitch.
Cliff: I could teach him how to hit your pitches out of the ballpark.
Norm: I'll do the kid's taxes.