‘I Am Not a Crook’
Season 2, Episode 14 - Aired January 13, 1995
Cory is running for class president, but his desire to be elected leads him to make promises he can't possibly keep.
Quote from Cory
Cory: There's no place for name calling in this campaign, you four-eyed, frog-voiced geek.
Quote from Cory
Cory: When I'm president, people are going to look at you, and you know what they're gonna say? Who's that sitting next to Cory? Who's that giving Cory the ride home?
Eric: Who's the guy with photos of little Cory running naked through the sprinkler.
Cory: Eric, big deal. I was four.
Eric: You were twelve.
Cory: It was refreshing.
Quote from Cory
Shawn: Football?
Cory: No, pain. Cleats on face. No.
Shawn: Modern dance?
Cory: No, lot of girls. Tights. No.
Shawn: Drama club?
Cory: No, lot of guys. Tights. No.
Quote from Cory
Cory: There's no Cory Matthews club on here. There's no club for ordinary guys who don't know who they are and aren't great at anything.
Shawn: So start one.
Cory: Ah, I probably wouldn't get it.
Quote from Shawn
Shawn: The great state of Shawn nominates the people's choice, Cory Matthews.
Cory: No!
Shawn: No! He's not going to settle for second-rate leadership.
Quote from Eric
Eric: Hey, Cor.
Cory: Hey, older brother.
Eric: You know, Cor, I was just sitting here wondering what makes my little brother special. What sets him apart from the other seventh grade candidates? Is it his allergy to scallops?
Cory: Eric.
Eric: Is it his Scooby-Doo thermas?
Cory: Where'd you find that?
Eric: No, I think it's his fuzzy bunny pajamas with the cotton tail.
Cory: I haven't worn these for years. I swear.
Eric: Boinky boinky boinky. Vote for me. Vote for me.
Quote from Eric
Cory: You know what, you're jealous, huh? You're used to being the big man. Mr. Rugby Shirt. Mr. Good Hair. Mr. Dimples.
Eric: Oh stop, stop.
Quote from Mr. Feeny
Mr. Feeny: Now, the candidates. Alvin W. Meiss and Cory A. Matthews. Slim pickings indeed.
Quote from Mr. Feeny
Mr. Turner: As of right now, there's a new candidate for president.
Mr. Feeny: Oh, good. Perhaps a serious minded student appalled by the tawdry level of the campaign thus far.
Mr. Turner: Shawn Hunter.
Mr. Feeny: I quit.
Quote from Shawn
Shawn: Yes, I have made some mistakes in the past. I have called some girls icky. But that was a long time ago when I had cooties. That's right, I, Shawn Hunter, had cooties. But I fought my way back, and I stand before you today, cootie free and girl-friendly.