Tobias Quote #277
Quote from Tobias in Courting Disasters
Narrator: As the trial was continuing, Dusty was desperate for any kind of witness.
Tobias: Guys and Dolls...
Narrator: Even one that came with a headshot.
Tobias: I was more than interested to try out to be one of the character witnesses in Buster's trial.
Dusty: Well, Tobias, thank you very much for offering.
Buster: That's very nice.
Tobias: Oh, please. I know the Buster character better than anyone. I could play Buster with one arm tied behind my back. In fact, I've played Buster with two arms tied behind my back. I was handcuffed.
Buster: [chuckles] Now, that's a witness.
Dusty: Um, we don't need you to play Buster on the stand, more just talk about him as a person.
Tobias: Oh. Well, you don't think I'd be more appealing as the accused? I mean, the Buster I played could never kill.
Arrested Development Quotes
‘Courting Disasters’ Quotes
Quote from Lucille
Lottie Dottie: I call to the witness stand Gene Parmesan.
Judge Stanley: Gene Parmesan. Gene Parmesan? Doesn't seem like he's here.
Lottie Dottie: That's impossible. He's a private detective. He'd never be late.
Gene Parmesan: Well, has anyone checked under the new bailiff? [removes fake beard] Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: [shrieks] Gene!
Gene Parmesan: And I swear to tell the truth, so help me God.
Lucille: That never gets old!
Gene Parmesan: I'll tell you something else that never gets old. Whoops. I'm under oath.
Quote from Tobias
George Michael: Gosh, I don't really know if we need any acting right now. The stuff we're doing here, it's more about preventing hacking, protecting privacy, and stuff like that.
Murphybrown: Oh, that's kind of what I was trying to stop, too.
Tobias: Yes, Murphybrown here is a bit of a computer whiz. [chuckles] He's worked on cable boxes.
Murphybrown: Yeah, I actually coded, like an extra layer beneath the firewall to keep your data from being exposed. It's like a dam or, like, a a stopper, or a barrier to stop people from...
George Michael: Like a block?
Tobias: Okay. Can we do this in English, Professor?
Murphybrown: Oh, s-sorry, sorry, my Sorry, my fine student. [troupe laughs]
Debrie: I need a diagram.
Tobias: It makes no sense at all. But what he's basically saying is, nobody wants to be naked underneath their underwear. So, one adds an extra layer of protection. It doesn't have to be denim, per se, but everybody wants to hide their privates from something.
Quote from Lucille
Dusty: Do you want me to take it easy on him? Or give it to him hard? I know he's a friend of yours.
Lucille: [scoffs] He's not my friend anymore. Testifying against our family after all the times I faked being surprised by him?
Narrator: So Dusty went after the witness's credibility.
Dusty: Mr. Parmesan, you say you're a master of disguises. How many looks are you capable of creating?
Judge Stanley: You asking me? I'm the judge.
Gene Parmesan: I'm Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: [shrieks]