TV Quotes

Lottie Dottie: I call to the witness stand Gene Parmesan.
Judge Stanley: Gene Parmesan. Gene Parmesan? Doesn't seem like he's here.
Lottie Dottie: That's impossible. He's a private detective. He'd never be late.
Gene Parmesan: Well, has anyone checked under the new bailiff? [removes fake beard] Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: [shrieks] Gene!
Gene Parmesan: And I swear to tell the truth, so help me God.
Lucille: That never gets old!
Gene Parmesan: I'll tell you something else that never gets old. Whoops. I'm under oath.

George Michael: Gosh, I don't really know if we need any acting right now. The stuff we're doing here, it's more about preventing hacking, protecting privacy, and stuff like that.
Murphybrown: Oh, that's kind of what I was trying to stop, too.
Tobias: Yes, Murphybrown here is a bit of a computer whiz. [chuckles] He's worked on cable boxes.
Murphybrown: Yeah, I actually coded, like an extra layer beneath the firewall to keep your data from being exposed. It's like a dam or, like, a a stopper, or a barrier to stop people from...
George Michael: Like a block?
Tobias: Okay. Can we do this in English, Professor?
Murphybrown: Oh, s-sorry, sorry, my Sorry, my fine student. [troupe laughs]
Debrie: I need a diagram.
Tobias: It makes no sense at all. But what he's basically saying is, nobody wants to be naked underneath their underwear. So, one adds an extra layer of protection. It doesn't have to be denim, per se, but everybody wants to hide their privates from something.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina Tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

Lucille: Don't you judge me. You're the selfish one. You're the one who charged his own brother for a Bluth frozen banana. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?
Michael: You've never actually set foot in a supermarket, have you?