Maeby Quote #134
Quote from Maeby in An Old Start
George Michael: Oh, so this is a choice. I didn't want to say anything, but I was like, "Maeby looks like a 65-year-old."
Maeby: What if I told you I was 75? Hmm?
George Michael: Holy shit. You look fantastic.
Maeby: Right? It's the teeth. It's the same guy who's doing my meth teeth, you know, for the family of the year thing. You know that's where I write a speech for my mom, she talks about how great I am, then...
George Michael: Then you open your mouth and you're like, "So why do I have to turn tricks for meth money?" I don't know how you keep all your scams straight.
Maeby: Well, this old lady one is a big, big score. I mean, when people catch on, they either forget or they die. [chuckles] And, I mean, this place is a dream. Nobody even locks their doors. Of course, what is there to steal? [chuckles] A few barstools and some family pictures? Anyway, that's how I got those barstools and all these great pictures of grandkids.
George Michael: What a beautiful family you've stolen.
Arrested Development Quotes
‘An Old Start’ Quotes
Quote from Maeby
Maeby: Look. Here's my advice. Okay? You go to Rebel's, you take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, and sex knobs with you. And you act like you're expecting a booty call, as the old people think the young people say. All right? You tell her, "I'm just here for a quickie, and I'm out of here." Mr. Brash. And she'll drop you like a buttered cane.
George Michael: Is that something old people say?
Maeby: Yeah. I'm trying to get it going.
George Michael: That's cool.
Quote from Maeby
Stan Sitwell: I'd like to see that paperwork.
Maeby: Yes. Well, I recently moved here from New Orleans, and I...
Narrator: Narrator: Maeby was proud of this lie.
Maeby: ...lost all my personal paperwork in Hurricane Cantina.
Stan Sitwell: Ooh. That's complicated.
Maeby: Yes. It is. Unless I'm expected to lose a home for the second time. Of course, I could just pack up my shorty shorts, my silky pajamas, my peekaboo bras, my ticklers, sex knobs, and lacy hoo-has and hit the road.
Stan Sitwell: I can't ask you to do that.
Quote from George Michael
Maeby: You would've had to lie about scuba, 'cause you would've been scared.
George Michael: Why do you say I'm scared of scuba? I'm not.
Maeby: You passed out at the aquarium.
George Michael: Well, they make you feel like you're underwater with all these giant...
Maeby: Dolphins?
George Michael: I still think that was some kind of smiling, kind of bemused baby shark.