Barry Zuckerkorn Quote #35

Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn in Borderline Personalities

Lucille: Look what they've done, George! Look what the homosexuals have done to me. A joyride. That's what they decide to do with the freedom this country has given them. [quietly] That's the best alibi I've been able to come up with, because our lawyer says he thinks he can get rid of the SEC charges, but he's worried about the pirating of the Queen Mary. Says they have a suit against us.
George Sr.: Where is Barry?
Lucille: He's with the harbormaster. He's trying to dazzle them with a suit of his own.
Barry: Well, he hated the suit. Thought I was making fun. But basically, this is a good news / bad news deal. First of all, won't be cheap. It's gonna cost you a fortune in legal fees.
George Sr.: What's the good news?
Barry: Oh, yeah. From your perspective, I can see where you think it's all bad news. It's all bad news. Also, it turns out that stealing the Queen Mary comes under maritime law, which, I just found out, is an actual thing. It's a real thing. Don't you worry. We got three months to prepare for this hearing.


 ‘Borderline Personalities’ Quotes

Quote from Buster

George Sr.: We're getting a divorce. [Buster wails]
Michael: I want to know about the stimulus package.
George Sr.: We haven't had sex since Christmas, Michael!
Buster: I'm- I'm sorry. You had sex seven weeks ago? They were remodeling my room, and I pulled my cot in there, just like camp.
Lucille: We yelled at you to leave.
Buster: Yeah, but then you whispered, "Don't pull out!" [Gob groans]

Quote from Narrator

Narrator: It turned out Lucille had returned to shore, too.
John Beard: [on TV] Why the alleged ship-jacker changed direction is still unexplained.
Narrator: And soon the family met up at the beginning of a fourth season... that would never come.

 Barry Zuckerkorn Quotes

Quote from Out on a Limb

Michael: We need to speak to you about getting a divorce for Gob.
Barry: Oh, well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? [raises hand for high-five]
Michael: Actually, she died.
Barry: You're kidding me. I've been taking credit for that for years.
Michael: Credit?

Quote from The B. Team

Michael: [on the phone] Barry, you still there?
Barry: So I got a really interesting call from Ron Howard, of all people. He's directing now, apparently, and wants to meet you at his office in, get this, Beverly Hills.
Michael: Why does Ron- Why does Ron Howard want to meet with me?
Barry: I don't know. His office didn't say. And if you don't mind, I'm a little busy with a case of my own.
Michael: Did you get any other information?
Barry: Apparently, he directed a movie called Cocoon.
Michael: Sorry. I was unclear about why he wants to meet with me.
Barry: I don't know. You want me to tell him to go [bleep] himself? I can tell Ron Howard to go [bleep] himself.
Tell him to shove it up his [bleep]. I just can't do it now because I'm in front of a jury.
Michael: Barry, I will meet with him. Wait- You're in front of a jury right now?
Barry: Oh, and the looks I'm getting. Got to go. [hangs up] Sorry, everybody. I'm an attorney, too.