Gob Quote #197

Quote from Gob in Sword of Destiny

Narrator: And Gob caught up with Michael.
Gob: Michael. Been lookin' for you.
Michael: Looks like you're looking for dragons, in the future.
Gob: I wouldn't mock the Sword of Destiny, Michael.
Michael: Careful with that, Gob.
[Gob misses the sheath as he sticks the sword back down his side]
Michael: Bleeding?
Gob: Nope. Yeah, that's blood. It'll get better before the show. That's what I need you for, Michael. I can't perform my illusion at the Gothic Castle because I've been banned from the Magicians' Alliance. I need you to register as the magician, and I'm the lowly assistant. Then we get on the stage, and you ram the Sword of Destiny into my belly. What do you think?
Michael: Really picked up steam there at the end, but I can't. I've gotta teach George Michael how to drive. And then I gotta get right back here, because-
Gob: Michael, if I make this comeback I'll buy you 100 George Michaels you can teach to drive!
Michael: You're losing blood, aren't you?
Gob: Probably. My socks are wet.
Michael: Sorry.
Gob: You'll be sorry! Wait, that doesn't work after his line.


 ‘Sword of Destiny’ Quotes

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.
Michael: What?
Tobias: The reason that you can't accept my help is the same reason you can't hear that gentleman's idea, because you have to be in total control of everything. And it's going to make you sick if you can't let go.

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Wouldn't do what?
Lindsay: Be Michael's assistant.
Tobias: [chuckles] Well, that's what I came down here to ask about. I think you'll find me more than qualified.
Michael: It's really not that simple. Uh, you'd have to submit a resume.
Tobias: Booyah!
Michael: Wow. Gobias Industries.
Tobias: Gobias.
Michael: Right.
Tobias: As in "Go buy us a cup of-"
Michael: I remember, yeah.

 Gob Bluth Quotes

Quote from Emotional Baggage

Lucille: His name is Dustin Radler, and I haven't hired him, because technically, he's given up the rat race.
George Sr.: Oh, God, the "giving up the rat race" guy? This is the sand hobo? Uh, it's just a question. Are you guys doing something?
Lucille: [inhales]
Gob: Don't say it! Please, I can't I can't hear it.
Lucille: He tickles my fancy.
Gob: Your what? Is the- What part of Mom is the fancy? You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.
Lucille: Oh, stop. We walk on the beach. We like the feel of the sand on our feet.
Gob: Oh, God, the thought of your feet.
George Sr.: It's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, maybe I'll go check on Buster.
Gob: Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh?

Quote from iAmigos!

Michael: So I thought you might want to read it seeing as how you are the president now, even though it's just a title.
Gob: Uh, right. Yes, well we should "circumvrent" union penalties.
Michael: Circumvent.
Gob: "Circumverate."
Michael: Circumvent. Means to go around.
Gob: The old reach around.
Michael: Trust me. This makes you look like a leader. Okay?
Gob: I don't think that I need any help with that. [framed "Never Give Up" inspirational poster falls from the wall and smashes] [bleep] it. Just leave it where it is.