TV Quotes

Gob: Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the first born. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about and I'm taking over.
Michael: You want to be in charge?
Gob: Yeah.
Michael: You want to deal with what I deal with a sister who takes your money and throws it away; a mother who you can't trust; a company whose founder may be on trial for treason- Is that what you want?
Gob: What kind of vacation time does it offer?
Michael: Yeah.

Michael: Gob, shouldn't you be in bed?
Gob: Well, we got a meeting with Dad's attorney today. He's gonna want me to take a lie-detector test to use as evidence in Dad's trial, but, uh, I don't want to. What if they ask about a magic trick? I just I can't risk it.
Michael: They're not gonna ask you anything. They want me to take the polygraph test.
Gob: But I'm the oldest. The matriarch, if you will.
Michael: Sure. I will.

Lucille: His name is Dustin Radler, and I haven't hired him, because technically, he's given up the rat race.
George Sr.: Oh, God, the "giving up the rat race" guy? This is the sand hobo? Uh, it's just a question. Are you guys doing something?
Lucille: [inhales]
Gob: Don't say it! Please, I can't I can't hear it.
Lucille: He tickles my fancy.
Gob: Your what? Is the- What part of Mom is the fancy? You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.
Lucille: Oh, stop. We walk on the beach. We like the feel of the sand on our feet.
Gob: Oh, God, the thought of your feet.
George Sr.: It's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, maybe I'll go check on Buster.
Gob: Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh?

Michael: So I thought you might want to read it seeing as how you are the president now, even though it's just a title.
Gob: Uh, right. Yes, well we should "circumvrent" union penalties.
Michael: Circumvent.
Gob: "Circumverate."
Michael: Circumvent. Means to go around.
Gob: The old reach around.
Michael: Trust me. This makes you look like a leader. Okay?
Gob: I don't think that I need any help with that. [framed "Never Give Up" inspirational poster falls from the wall and smashes] [bleep] it. Just leave it where it is.