Jacob Quote #153
Quote from Jacob in The Principal's Office
Gregory: Hey, man, can you, uh, pass me a sugar packet?
[After Jacob hands Gregory a sugar packet, he rips it open and taps the slightest amount of sugar into his drink]
Jacob: Talk to me, bro.
Gregory: Try again.
Jacob: Copy that. Uh, hey, Gregory. Is there anything you want to get off your chest?
Gregory: [sighs] I have this kid... Micah. I can't stop him from disrupting my class. It's like he can sense whenever I feel like I'm getting a handle on something, and he just swoops in like a cute little faIcon and rips me apart.
Jacob: Foof. I have been there. All the students bringing the correct energy. Insightful answers popping off left and right. And then [imitates explosion] someone goes and kills the vibe.
Gregory: Yeah, I hated all of those sentences, but how do you handle it?
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘The Principal's Office’ Quotes
Quote from Barbara
Barbara & Kids: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy...♪
Barbara: Hit that high note.
Barbara & Kids: ♪ ...dear Ryan ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Barbara: ♪ And how old ♪ ♪ Are you, Ryan? ♪
Ryan: Here she goes again.
Barbara: ♪ How o-o-o-old are you ♪ ♪ Ryan? ♪ ♪ How o-o-old ♪ ♪ Are yo-o-o-o-u? ♪
Ryan: I'm 6. [blows out candle]
Barbara: ♪ May the good Lord ♪ ♪ Bless yo-o-o-o-o-u ♪
Quote from Jacob
Melissa: A shallot. I said get an onion.
Jacob: Oh, Janine thought it was an onion that was adorable and small like her, and who am I to shatter that illusion.
Janine: [laughs] Does it really matter?
Melissa: Does it matter?
Jacob: Janine, come on. Of course it matters. Ooh! Now I get to patronize a local vendor. BRB.
[aside to camera:]
Jacob: I love haggling with neighborhood merchants. You should see their faces when I counter with a higher price. You've heard of up-selling? Well, I'm an up-buyer.
Quote from Ava
Gregory: You wanted to see me?
Ava: Why, yes, Mr. Eddie. I did. Though, ideally not under these circumstances. Don't make that face. I heard you're going around complaining about my principaling. Now, I've made it a point not to "harass" you these past few weeks and this is how you repay me?
Gregory: Ava, you do these kids a disservice by not being the strong authority figure that they need. Kids are supposed to be scared to go to the principal's office. You turned it into a Chuck E. Cheese.
Ava: [chuckles] Don't say that. I got beef with every Charles Entertainment Cheese in the greater Philadelphia area.
Gregory: Can I go? Have you not embarrassed me enough?
Ava: Now, how do you think it feels for a six or seven year old to make that walk of shame? By the time they get to my office, they got snot running down their face and they're shaking like a Chihuahua, and what? I'm supposed to punish them? And then what? I gotta tune out some sobbing child while I'm trying to watch Below Deck? If you don't agree with my approach, you need to get Micah under control on your own. [over intercom] I'm sending Mr. Eddie back to his class. Let's all hope he's learned his lesson. [to the kids] I got next game.