Dick: I have spent my entire life as a human on the outside looking in. Always trying, approximating, attempting, but never being a human being.
Sally: That's 'cause you're not.
Dick: Lieutenant, I refuse to be defined by who I am. My past has always gotten me into trouble. As of now, I have no past. I am no longer an alien.
Sally: What?
Dick: From now on, I am a human being. I am John Q. Pubic.

Dick: So, Mary, what do you want for Valentine's Day this year?
Mary: Oh, I'm not expecting much.
Dick: Why not?
Mary: Well, the first year we dated, you claimed to have never heard of Valentine's Day. The second year you gave me a ham sandwich. That's why I'm not expecting much.

Sally: Look what some weirdo left on the porch.
Tommy: Let me see that. "Dear Sally, I can't stop thinking about you."
Harry: Whoa, this guy sounds obsessed.
Tommy: "I stay up at night just to watch you sleep."
Sally: Ew.
Tommy: "On this Valentine's Day your heart will be mine." [Harry screams]
Don: No, you don't understand.
Sally: This is the most creepy, horrible, disgusting thing I have ever encountered.
Tommy: It's a good thing you're dating a cop.
Sally: Yes, it is, yes. Don, should we go outside and look for clues?
Don: Clues? Sure, why not?