TV Quotes

Sally: All right. What have we got, Tommy?
Tommy: The lady says she stepped out of the laundromat to get a coffee. When she returned, her slipcovers had been removed from the dryer and placed on the folding table. She also claims they were still wet.
Sally: Is this a fact, sir?
Mrs. Dubcek: He moved my stuff.
Sally: I am not talking to you.
Mrs. Dubcek: I'm saying, I went-
Sally: Zip it! Tommy... [clears throat] Why don't you tell our friend here the rules.
Tommy: The rules are: you are not to remove someone else's moist items from the dryer.
Sally: Now, was it moist?
Man: It was damp.
Sally: Don't pee on my shoes and tell me the washer's leaking.

Sally: Now, was it moist?
Man: It was moist, ma'am.
Crowd: Ah.
Sally: What is the matter with these people?
Tommy: Beats me, ma'am.
Sally: You, buster, you better grow up. You owe this woman twenty minutes of drying time.
Mrs. Dubcek: I told you.
Sally: And you, young lady, you better drop that attitude. Here's a little piece of advice, you've heard this before: Colors fade but dumb is forever. Next! [slams fabric conditioner on the table]

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.