Sally: Look, Albright. Dr. Albright, you live by yourself. I could do that, right?
Mary: No comment.
Sally: So you think it's a good idea.
Mary: I refer you to my last response.
Dick: Mary, you can provide a preponderance of evidence that proves what a frightening responsibility living alone is.
Mary: Well, in order to do that, we would have to determine what the meaning of the word "is" is.
Sally: All right, look would you, in a million years, live in an attic with Dick, Tommy, and Harry?
Mary: Well, I really think that's a matter of-
Sally: Answer the question, please.
Mary: I would rather live in a box behind the 7-Eleven.

Don: If Sally only understood the workings of the criminal element, she'd move back in a heartbeat.
Dick: Criminal element? Exactly how does this criminal element work?
Don: Well, it's the usual story. She comes home tired and forgets to close the blinds. She puts on a teddy and parades in front of the window. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door.
Dick: Is it pizza?
Don: No! It's Dr. Nefarious in a ski mask and a hatchet! She's screaming her head off, but nobody can hear her because of the train passing! Clickety-clack! Clickety-clack! Clickety-clack! Whoo-whooooo! [imitates Psycho stabbing] [screams] Not a pretty picture but it could happen.
Dick: You're right, Don. In fact, I can almost guarantee that it will happen!

Vicki Dubcek: Boy, your brother's got some control issues.
Sally: He's a freak! He won't even let me get my own place.
Mrs. Dubcek: You know, there's a room over the garage I used to rent out.
Sally: What?
Vicki Dubcek: Mama, that place is condemned.
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, no. It's just asbestos and bad wiring. Nothing a little paint won't fix.