Nina: Why would he send you the tickets?
Mary: Oh, uh, Frank was having a little trouble maintaining his academic eligibility. I just gave him a little help and guidance.
Nina: "Your classes were so easy. Thank you for letting me coast."
Mary: He was a brilliant student.
Judith: He spelled easy with a "Z."
Mary: Oh, who cares?! I have two tickets to the Super Bowl!

Tommy: Dick, Sally, I'd like you to meet Chloe.
Dick: Hi.
Chloe: Hello. I'm extremely beautiful, and I'm Tommy's new girlfriend.
Sally: Wait. Is that true, Tommy?
Tommy: Yes. And yes.
Sally: A woman like that is not supposed to be available to a high school kid. That's why we got him a subscription to Playboy.
Dick: And now we can cancel it. Ba-bam!

Sally: Dick, don't you find it just a little bit odd that a woman that gorgeous likes you?
Dick: You wouldn't think it was odd if I were Mick Jagger.
Sally: Yeah, but Mick Jagger's not a small-town college professor.
Dick: Exactly. And yet he still gets women. Next time, try thinking before you open your mouth.