Dick: Okay, where's my shoes?
Harry: Well, I think I saw one of them... [voice quavers] right over there.
Dick: Oh, my god, it's Harry. His cranial microreceiver, it's activated.
Harry: Transmission incoming from the Big Giant Head. Thank you for calling the Big Giant Head. He cares about you. Your status report was received. Please wait for comments.
Dick: Oh, no, no, no.
Sally: Please, please, no comments.
Harry: There are no comments. Resume normal functions in three, two, one. [sneezes]

Dick: Final exam? Today? I forgot. [giggles] Isn't that a hoot? You see, I didn't make it home last night. I could have, but I was awfully comfortable where I was, in a place that's definitely not home.
Caryn: Dr. Solomon, are you all right?
Dick: I can't talk about it. It's too personal. Let's just say... I had sex with Dr. Albright.
Bug: Oh! Dr. Solomon, we don't need to know about this.
Dick: Oh, that's where you're wrong, Bug. You might learn something. Last night, at 11:22 Eastern Standard Time, my spiritual self, X, and my corporeal self, Y, were fused together for the first time. But let's move on.

Nina: I thought you and Dr. Solomon had a date again tonight.
Mary: We did.
Nina: He stood you up?
Mary: Oh, no, I talked to him. He said he got an upsetting phone call from a friend with a big head. And he didn't think he'd be much fun tonight.
Nina: Oh. Well, my all-time favorite excuse was "I have a terminal illness."
Mary: You actually had that pulled on you?
Nina: Yes, but in all fairness, the guy died.