Mary: Is your harness secure?
Dick: Not especially. And that's the way I like it. One of the thrills of climbing is never knowing when your gear is going to crap out.
Mary: Dick, the other group is over there. Why are we going this way?
Dick: No, we're leaving the pack behind. Cat's Eye peak awaits.
Mary: You know, the whole point of these faculty outings is not really an intense climb, more like a brisk walk followed by a nice, long happy hour. This could be dangerous.
Dick: Yes, but, Mary, I have to perch on the teeth of death in order to stare down onto the tonsils of enlightenment.
Mary: [chuckles] What, do you have some kind of death wish?
Dick: Actually, it's more of a near-death wish, but if we rule out death, I really think it undercuts the experience, you know.
Mary: Oh, my God. I'm climbing a mountain tied to a suicidal maniac! Help me! Help me!
Dick: Mary! Mary! Please, Mary! Help me! Help me! [covers Mary's mouth] Remember what Judith said. Any loud noise can cause an avalanche. [yodels]