Mary: How do you think I felt?
Dick: Alone and scared, a sheet cake her only solace.
George Albright: She drove me to it, Princess.
Martha Albright: All right! Maybe I did. But I was too fat, and I hated my body, and those damn diet pills made me crazy.
Mary: You took diet pills?
Martha Albright: Our family doctor prescribed them. For god's sakes, it was the sixties!
George Albright: She went to Dr. Powell for more than just pills.
Mary: Dr. Powell?! He had hair in his ears.
George Albright: She went to Dr. Powell, who was her cousin.
Martha Albright: He was my step-cousin!
George Albright: He was my golf partner!
Martha Albright: He was a man!
Mary: Enough! You two lie to each other and cheat on each other, and I'm stuck in the middle. You've made my life miserable. Why the hell did the two of you stay married?
George Albright: To try to give you a happy home.
Dick: [stands up in his Speedo] Oh, my God! Look at the two of you! Have you no shame?