Adult Dean: He had the time to teach me how to drop a perfect bunt and then he had to rush to get ready for this big loan interview he had.
Bruce: I served in the military for two years. I receive monthly disability checks which cover most of my expenses, and I found a promising lead on a new job which will allow me to repay my loan in less than a year.
Lillian: You should know better than to ask your father for a loan. He's gonna gouge you on the interest rates.
Bill: He's a credit risk. We have to protect ourselves.

Lillian: Bruce asked Tammy to marry him?
Dean: He had a ring and everything. He was down on one knee.
Kim: I hate to be the one to say it...
Bill: Then don't.
Kim: Fine. [whispers] I told you so.

Dean: I have a confession to make, too.
Bruce: I know you saw me at Tammy's. You barely cleared the hill by the time I came out the front door. Now that we worked on your bunting, next is teaching you to pedal faster. [laughter]

Lillian: How do you two know each other?
Bruce: Oh, well, um, i- it's a funny story. Tammy wrote letters to me every day in Vietnam through this program at her church. Come to find out, we went to the same high school.
Tammy: [chuckles] Well, I was there a lot earlier than you.
Bruce: Tammy's been visiting me every day while you're at work.
Lillian: Well, I'm glad Bruce has a good friend.
Kim: [scoffs] Catch up, Mama. She's his girlfriend.
Bill: Be cool, Kim.

Adult Dean: Bruce had had plenty of girlfriends before. I couldn't figure out why this one bothered Mama so much.
Lillian: So, um, does your friend, Tammy, cook anything else for you besides cookies?
Bruce: Nothing as good as you.
Adult Dean: I was old enough to know it wasn't really about the cookies. My guess was it was the fact that Tammy was closer to Mama's age than to Bruce's.
Lillian: By the way, I, uh, washed out that cookie tin so you can take it back to her.
Adult Dean: And if Bruce dated an older woman with her own cookie tins, he didn't need Mama's anymore.

Bill: Who took my newspaper? [Bruce holds up the paper] You better use your good arm and fold it back.
Bruce: [chuckles] Sorry. I was just checking the want ads for a job.
Bill: Don't rush it, son. The doctor told you to take it easy.
Bruce: Yeah, I know. I know. I'm just ready to get my life going again. And, Dad, I thought you'd be happy to have one less dependent. [Bill chuckles]
Lillian: Does your friend, Tammy, work?
Bruce: Yes, she does, Mama.
Bill: Does she know about the disability check you're getting from the army?
Bruce: She is not after me for my money, just my good looks.

Tammy: Baby, you didn't have to come all the way over here to drop this off.
Dean: Oh, it's no problem. I'm taking Dean to the park, and you were on my way.
Adult Dean: In spite of Mama's concerns, Tammy seemed nice to me. And if Bruce was happy, we should be happy.
Tammy: The park? Maybe you could take Joey?
Bruce: Uh, sure, sure, yeah.
Tammy: Hey, Joey, get over here!
Adult Dean: Who the [bleep] is this?

Adult Dean: I'm starting to understand how Mama felt. Didn't these people know that not only did Bruce have a cookie tin at home, he had a perfectly good little brother at home, too?
Dean: So, uh, did you know she had a kid?
Bruce: Of course. I just didn't want to let Mom and Dad know yet. You know, I want to kind of ease them into it. You know how they can get.
Dean: Yeah. [chuckles] Like when they found out your last girlfriend was a Lutheran?
Bruce: [laughs] Look, I know this wasn't a part of our plan, Dean, but I think you could really help me out with Joey. You can relate to him more than I can. Maybe be kind of a big brother to him. You think you can do that?
Adult Dean: Oh, I get it. He wants me to handle the big brother duties so he doesn't have to. Okay. Maybe I could be this kid's "Bruce."

Lillian: She's got a son?
Bill: This changes everything.
Bruce: Don't worry. It's not like Joey knows about my disability checks.
Lillian: He means should we assume she was married before? Or is she divorced? Or is she a widow?
Bruce: Okay. Okay, I get that you both have a lot of questions, and I probably should've handled it better. So why don't we invite Tammy and Joey over for dinner one night, then you can ask her all these things.
Kim: You miss combat that bad, huh?
Bill: That's a good idea, son. Mm. It would be nice to get to know her better.
Lillian: Yeah, she can bring her cookies.
Bill: Damn it, Lillian, nobody likes oatmeal and raisins.

Adult Dean: Oh, this was going to be interesting.
[black and white fantasy: Bill and Lillian interrogate Tammy and Bruce:]
Lillian: What are your intentions with our son?
Tammy: Hm? To get him strung out on cookies.
Bill: How many children do you have, Tammy?
Tammy: Oh, I forget. [Lillian shines a light in Tammy's face]
Lillian: Is Tammy even your real name?
Tammy: Who's Tammy?