Dwight K. Schrute Quote #161
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Drug Testing
Michael Scott: Since you did such a good job with the investigation, I decided to pull a few strings, call in a few favors, and I've decided to make you official security supervisor of the branch.
Dwight K. Schrute: Really?
Michael Scott: Yes, sir.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's fantastic. Because I've always felt that the security here sucked.
Michael Scott: So, you wanna...
Tate: "Dwight K. Schrute, I hereby declare you an honorary volunteer corporal in charge of assisting all activities' security." Okay. Here's your badge.
Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you, Michael. Very nice, great. Can I have a gun?
Tate: No. I don't have a gun.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. I'll have to bring in my bo staff.
Tate: I don't think so.
The Office Quotes
‘Drug Testing’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I like the people I work with, generally, with four exceptions. But someone committed a crime, and I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven't.
Quote from Jim
Jim: I'm just saying that you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me.
Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight K. Schrute: I would remember.
Jim: Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's not how it works.
Jim: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight K. Schrute: Knock it off, okay? I'm interviewing you.
Jim: No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?