Dwight K. Schrute Quote #773
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Christening
Pam: Well, other things you can do to help cut down on the spread of disease are to wash your hands regularly. Don't come in if you're sick. And get your flu shot. Also, I'm going to set up hand sanitizing stations around the office.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, no, no. They will cost you your life.
Jim: Elaborate.
Dwight K. Schrute: The worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it. They need to fight their own battles. If Sabre really cared about our well-being, they would set up hand de-sanitizing stations. A simple bowl at every juncture filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter...
Pam: I'm not- I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Exposing yourself to germs is the best way to make yourself stronger.
Jim: So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. I would welcome it.
Jim: [sneezes on Dwight, looks at camera] You're welcome.
Features in the collection: Quarantine Collection.
More The Office Quotes
‘Christening’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: The principle is sound. To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don't know why everyone doesn't do this. Maybe they have something against living forever.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Pam: One of the simplest ways to cut down on the spread of germs is to use something called the vampire cough.
Erin: Di- Did you say vampire?
Pam: Oh, no, it's just that if a vampire had to cough, he would do it like this. [coughs into elbow]
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh-huh. Right. And ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? [to camera] 'cause of the Euro.
Dwight K. Schrute Quotes
Quote from Dunder Mifflin Infinity
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm going to live for a very long time. My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Mannheim is 103, and still puttering around down in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.
Quote from The Farm
Erin: Dwight, what a ridiculous, fancy clown you are.
Dwight K. Schrute: I am dressed according to the Schrute codes of mourning. My aunt Shirley has died.
Pam: Oh, Dwight. I'm so sorry. Were you guys close?
Dwight K. Schrute: I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other. I raised myself. She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: My actual mother was very cold and distant. I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.