Michael Scott Quote #1207
Quote from Michael Scott in Baby Shower
Michael Scott: Just keep pushing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hold me!
Michael Scott: I'm right here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Cradle my head!
Michael Scott: I'm right here!
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm screaming, I'm screaming!
Michael Scott: All right. Dwight. Just push and breathe.
Dwight K. Schrute: Numb me up. I want anesthesia!
Michael Scott: Ssh. No, you can't have it. It's too late.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, I don't want natural!
Michael Scott: You have to just push it out! Okay! Keep simulating.
Dwight K. Schrute: Do you have the Sharpie? Do you have the Sharpie?
Michael Scott: Yes, I do!
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. When the baby emerges, mark it secretly in a kind of a mark that only you could recognize and no baby snatcher can ever copy.
Michael Scott: OK.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ready?
Michael Scott: Yes. It's coming! Here we go! [drops watermelon to the ground] God! What was on that?
Dwight K. Schrute: Butter. Newborns are slippery.
Michael Scott: Nice touch. Good. Let's try that again. [later, while eating watermelon] It is going to be the happiest day of my life.
The Office Quotes
‘Baby Shower’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me, and I think it's because they see me as one of them. But cooler. And with my life put together a little bit. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes, there would be no war. There would be no government, and things could get terrible. It actually, probably it would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Is this it? I mean, is this two bowls of M&M's and some balloons? You know what, Phyllis, I think you need to step it up. I think you need to get the lead out. Because if I'm not mistaken, we gave you your wedding shower here. We all came into this room and gave you a golden shower. Well, you know what, where's my golden shower, Phyllis?
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.