Dwight K. Schrute: Where did you see it?
Jim: In the bed.
Cathy: I haven't seen anything.
Dwight K. Schrute: We gotta find it before it eggs.
Cathy: Jeez.
Dwight K. Schrute: Describe it.
Jim: Brown, shiny, painful bite.
Dwight K. Schrute: Could be a bat weevil... Describe its mood. Did it seen sleepy?
Jim: Stressed. But to be fair, it was a tense situation.
Dwight K. Schrute: Fair enough, but after it bit you, did it run away fearful, or did it walk away smug, self-assured?
Jim: So smug. Like he thought it was funny, like this.
Dwight K. Schrute: Pfft. That's a bedbug.
Jim: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Everything's a joke.
Jim: I know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Check your hair! [checks Jim's hair]
Jim: Ow.
Dwight K. Schrute: God, oh. So greasy, you should just shave all this.
Jim: Just check it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You are clean. Okay... One thing a bedbug thrives on is heat and carbon dioxide [starts running in place and turning up the thermostat] I am going to generate myself into a human trap. [starts to take off clothes] When I jump into the bed, you are going to cover me with the sheet immediately. And then we'll see who's laughing. [maniacal laugh]