Sue: Brick, what are you doing? You were supposed to be making a list of potential Mom gifts.
Brick: You said I was spending too much time with the microfiche, and you were right. I thought I could never love again. But I've discovered something so much better. Have you heard of this "Val-U Pack"? It's loaded with literally hundreds of dollars worth of savings, and it comes in this handy carrying case. Look at all these typefaces... italic, bold, serif, sans serif... it's a veritable font of fonts! And so much creative wordplay. Check out this gutsy spelling of "Through"... T-H-R-U! It's almost naughty.
Sue: Yeah, I've heard of 'em, Brick. Everyone has. They come every week.
Brick: What?! How could we be passing up all these great deals? "Free brake inspection at Tire Time," "$10 off Captain Suds power wash," oh, and check this out, walk-in tubs. All these years, we've been climbing into our tubs like idiots!
Sue: This is not what I meant when I said you should start living life.
Brick: "Half off your next pair of contact lenses." I hope I have bad eyesight 'cause if they botch my... laser surgery... this lawyer will hunt them down!

Sue: Brick! Are you not getting my texts? We have to figure out Mother's Day.
Frankie: Oh, if it were 1947, we could take her to Collier's Family Restaurant, but it closed in 1983 due to a fire and never re-opened.
Sue: That's great! But we got to find someplace to take Mom in this century.
Brick: Ahh, 1983... that was Box Number Nine. I worked my way through all nine boxes of microfiche I got from the library. And it's over.
Sue: Really, Brick? You read all that microfiche?
Brick: Yep. Nine years worth of stories... done. I should've appreciated it more. I guess I could go back and look through 'em again. But, it's not the same knowing there aren't any new ones coming.
Sue: Okay, get up. Get up. Get up! Stop living in the past. You have spent the last year hunched over that thing, missing out on life. There is a whole world out there, Brick. It's called Orson, Indiana.
Brick: Hey, you grieve for the microfiche in your way, and I'll grieve in mine.

Sue: I cannot believe you have a fake ID.
Brick: Font Club is very underfunded. That's how we used to raise money... our treasurer has low scruples and a gift. Well, he did, until he got expelled.
Sue: Yeah, but come on, Brick, you don't exactly look 32.
Brick: [frames his face] Look at me from here to here.
Sue: I see it now.
Brick: I voted in the last election.
Waitress: Welcome to King's Head. We got a special tonight on $2 whiskey shots.
Brick: Oh, no, no, no. My ID is fake.
Sue: Two ginger ales and we'll try the 50% off fish and chips.
Brick: I think you're gonna want to roll out the red carpet when you see that we have a coupon from the Val-U Pack.