Frankie Quote #1741

Quote from Frankie in Ovary and Out

Frankie: I wished I could still have a baby if I wanted to, but I don't want to. Take that baby back.
Mike: I can't take the baby back. I promised Dierdre we'd watch it.
Frankie: Damn it! I had plans tonight. I was gonna watch Outlander and eat my frosting sandwich. And have you forgotten how much work babies are, huh... all the crying and feeding them and diapering them? I spent my entire 30s with my hands smelling like butt cream. I would eat a cookie and think, "What's that weird smell? Oh, yeah, butt cream." [baby coos]
Mike: [singsong] Doo-dee, doo-dee, doo-dee, doo.
Frankie: [sighs] Fine. When are they getting home?
Mike: [normal voice] Tomorrow.
Frankie: Tomorrow?!
Mike: Her husband got her Brad Paisley tickets for their anniversary.
Frankie: Now, that's a good present.

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 ‘Ovary and Out’ Quotes

Quote from Brick

Brick: Well, we got a great turnout at Font Club. Unfortunately, most of the kids are just in it for the credit. But there is this one guy, Gibson. He's a savant. He's a font savant. He's a safont!
Frankie: Brick, you're on your own for dinner tonight.
Brick: I just got to raise my game. I got too relaxed... You know, a little sloppy, a little lazy. So this is good. It's like when a new sports star comes in and forces the established sports star to up his sport.
Mike: That's right! That's what I'm talking about. [tries to high-five Brick; Brick misses]
Brick: [laughs] I'm gonna check out the new font websites, see what the kids are using these days.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [sighs] Well, I'm fine.
Mike: You sound great.
Frankie: No, I am. My ovaries are fine. Unfortunately, they're like raisins. And not the cute, plump California ones that dance and wear gloves. They're like the hard, shriveled, sad, deformed ones in the Raisin Flakes we get from the Frugal Hoosier.
Mike: Well, this can't be a shock, Frankie. I mean, you are 50...
Frankie: I know what I am, thanks. [exhales sharply] You don't get it. Because they don't shut men's factories downs. They only shut women's factories down.
Mike: What factories?
Frankie: This factory. I mean, I liked knowing it was open. Now it's all red-tagged and padlocked with bulldozers in the parking lot.
Mike: I feel like anything I say here is gonna be wrong, so... you want to just hug me?

Quote from Brick

Brick: Dad, I need your opinion on this. I finally figured out why there are only three people in Font Club.
Mike: Because it's Font Club?
Brick: Exactly! It's a "Club," not an "Activity." But I petitioned the school to grant Font Club "Activity" status, so now kids can get community-service credit if they join. Now, let me walk you through the different fonts. I suggest you close your eyes between each one as a palate cleanser.
Mike: How 'bout I close my eyes for all of 'em?
Brick: Now, the first font in contention is Caviar Dreams. Clean, modern... [cellphone rings]