Axl: Okay. I finished my speech on a life-changing event. I think I really nailed it, and I kind of want to practice on you guys.
Mike: Do I have to? [off Frankie's look] He didn't help me take the tree out.
Axl: Ahem. "My life-changing event, by Axl Heck. There was a moment not that long ago, when an event happened that changed my life, a moment that made me question everything I knew about myself to be true. I thought this girl was really hot, and I asked her out, and she said, 'no', and then I was like, 'Why? Am I not hot?' and I couldn't believe it, 'cause a lot of people think I'm hot, but maybe I wasn't hot. Maybe I was wrong about being hot. So I stood in front of the mirror, staring at myself for, like, eight hours, asking myself, 'Am I hot or not hot?' And as I reflected on my reflection, I realized, 'You're the Ax-man. Of course you're hot.' So then, like, I asked her out again, "and she said, 'Yes.' The end."
Brick: Enjoy summer school.
Axl: Oh, this is all your fault! You know why I haven't had a life-changing event? 'Cause nothing in my life has happened. Nothing! I mean, we're not rich enough to travel. We're not poor enough to live out of our car. Mom's not on the Internet, stripping for money. And Dad doesn't get drunk and beat anyone.
Mike: Not yet.