Frankie: Oh, I am just so proud of him, Mike. I don't think I've ever been more proud. What an amazing kid we've raised. [sighs] I want him out of my house.
Mike: Well, that was a short love affair.
Frankie: No, I love him, but he needs to get a job and move out. If he doesn't, I'm gonna kill him or me or both of us. I got used to him not living here. I like knowing that when I open the cereal box, there will actually be cereal in it. I-I like it when there's no dirty socks on the table or on my bed or in the fridge. That one was on purpose. It had to be.
Mike: Well, that's not gonna happen, 'cause we're gonna have ground rules and he's gonna follow them.
Frankie: Yeah, right. We tried ground rules before. Remember how that worked out? Like when we drew up a contract that he had to take a bath every other day if he wanted TV.
Mike: Well, he was 5 years old. He signed his name with an X. I'm not sure it was legally binding.
Frankie: Well, we should've been more concerned that our 5-year-old could only sign his name with an X... and he's the one we read to.
Mike: Well, look, he's not 5 anymore. He's a man. And if we treat him like one, he'll act like one.