Axl: Oh. [chuckles] Uh... Hi.
Devin: Maybe think about putting a heat lamp out here, in case people wind up waiting forever for you to get home.
Axl: I'm confused. Are we...
Devin: Freezing our butts off? Yeah. We are. Okay, fine. I'm bad at this, all right? I'm great at picking fights, but I'm terrible at the part that comes after.
Axl: Look, I'm the one that screwed up. You were right about the names and stuff. I changed all the contacts in my phone.
Devin: Wait, so I'm not "uggo from Idaho" anymore? I'm just plain "Devin"?
Axl: Well, for now. Maybe I'm waiting to see how this turns out. You could be "Awesome Devin," or you could be "Big Bowl of Crazy Devin."
Devin: [chuckles] Here's the thing. I got majorly burned by my last boyfriend. I thought everything was going great, until one day, I was late for practice, and I borrowed one of his old jerseys. No big deal, right? But then, that night, I get this text from him saying that the jersey thing had sent him over the edge and things were going too fast and it was over. Totally out of the blue. And it sucked. So now, at the first sign of any trouble, I bail. I'd rather be the dumper than the dumpee.
Axl: Okay. Well... Follow me here. What if we keep doing this... which I think is pretty awesome... and if things start going south, I'll let you know, and you can dump me first? Cool?
Devin: Cool.