Michael Quote #235
Quote from Michael in The Worst Possible Use of Free Will
[flashback:]
Michael: You. In here.
Eleanor: Where am I?
Michael: Hell. You're in Hell. Can I ask you something? Have I missed anything in that freaky little noodle of yours? See I... I've studied everything about your life. I know your hopes, your fears, your psychology, your tendencies. I know all your private shames, like that you don't wash your feet in the shower; your first concert was Barenaked Ladies; and you have frequent sex dreams about Sam the Eagle, from the Muppets.
Eleanor: Well, he's very authoritative, and I find that reassuring.
Michael: You keep making crazy choices I don't understand. Am I missing something?
Eleanor: I'm sorry. Can we rewind for a second? Who are you? Who is that guy? Am I dead? Is Sam the Eagle here?
Michael: No. [snaps fingers]
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Worst Possible Use of Free Will’ Quotes
Quote from Eleanor
Eleanor: I gotta say, it seems like I was really nailing that philosophy class. Can you believe my high school voted me "Most Likely to Die Young and Unaccomplished?"
Michael: You did die young and unaccomplished.
Eleanor: Fair enough.
Quote from Tahani
[flashback:]
Michael: Ah! My favorite four residents. Don't tell the others. [laughs] Welcome to "Pick a Pet Day." We have hundreds of beautiful animals for you to choose from. And when you do make your choice, your pet will bond to your soul forever.
Tahani: Fabulous. I haven't had a pet since Barbra Streisand gave me one of her cloned Siamese cats, and it killed itself.
Michael: Ah.
Tahani: I'm going to look at the mythical pets, darling. Catch up when you're ready.
Quote from Eleanor
Eleanor: "Determinism is the theory that we have no control over our own actions. Everything we do happens because of some external force, which exists outside of our control." I didn't choose to fall in love with Chidi, because some all-knowing demon, you, brought us together and scripted our lives.
Michael: That's ridiculous. I didn't make you kiss Chidi by that lake.
Eleanor: You kind of did. You orchestrated the whole "pet day" thing, manipulated us into choosing specific animals, made my lizard run away, which led to Chidi coming to help me find it, which led to us kissing, which led to us falling in love. None of that was my choice. Everything in my life has been determined by my upbringing, my genetics, or... or my environment. And everything in my afterlife was determined by you. There is no such thing as free will.