Eleanor: I gotta say, it seems like I was really nailing that philosophy class. Can you believe my high school voted me "Most Likely to Die Young and Unaccomplished?"
Michael: You did die young and unaccomplished.
Eleanor: Fair enough.

Eleanor: "Determinism is the theory that we have no control over our own actions. Everything we do happens because of some external force, which exists outside of our control." I didn't choose to fall in love with Chidi, because some all-knowing demon, you, brought us together and scripted our lives.
Michael: That's ridiculous. I didn't make you kiss Chidi by that lake.
Eleanor: You kind of did. You orchestrated the whole "pet day" thing, manipulated us into choosing specific animals, made my lizard run away, which led to Chidi coming to help me find it, which led to us kissing, which led to us falling in love. None of that was my choice. Everything in my life has been determined by my upbringing, my genetics, or... or my environment. And everything in my afterlife was determined by you. There is no such thing as free will.

Michael: I tried to script your whole afterlife. And I devised a 15 million-point plan to torture you. You made choices I never saw coming. I call that free will.
Eleanor: What if all your choices are predetermined?
Michael: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Eleanor: What? We don't know. Maybe there's a mega-demon who built a torture chamber for demons, and this whole thing is just him torturing you. And maybe all the mega-demons are just fulfilling a destiny laid out by a bunch of super intelligent tarantula-squids, who are torturing them, be... [Michael pours his iced tea on Eleanor's head] Why did you do that?
Michael: Because I have free will. And because you're being so annoying.
Eleanor: Thank you. I'm so sorry that he did that.
Waitress: Happens all the time. Usually it's the younger woman doing it to the older guy, though.