Eleanor Quote #214
Quote from Eleanor in The Burrito
Eleanor: We've been through every argument. Contractualist, Kantian, "What would Superman do?", "What would Rihanna do"... are we missing anything? Hit me right now with your most obscure, boring-est, old white dude with a long wizard beard mumbo-jumbo.
Chidi: Okay, our friends are going to the Bad Place, and us choosing to go with them won't lessen their suffering. So, morally, we're allowed to go. But let's forget about the ethics for a second. After everything that's happened, don't we deserve to be together and happy for once? Judge?
Judge: [appears] Have you made your decision?
Eleanor: Yeah. We're not going to the Good Place. I mean, that was never actually an option, but for the sake of your test, we're not going.
Judge: What do you mean?
Eleanor: Well, I was 99% sure that going was the wrong move, but since our whole relationship has been me being sure of something and Chidi explaining why I was wrong, I owed it to him to quadruple check. The capper came when I realized... that ain't Chidi. The Chidi I know wouldn't argue that he should be rewarded while his friends got punished, and he would never "forget about ethics for a second." I don't know who this joker is, but it's not Chidi Anagonye.
Chidi: Wait, but what about the...
Judge: [makes "Chidi" disappear] Well done, Eleanor. You can take a seat and wait for the others. And can I have that medallion back 'cause it's actually a coaster for my sodas?
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Burrito’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
Shawn: So, just to be clear, you actually rebooted them over 800 times, and all of these reports of their torture are completely fake?
Michael: Yes, but frankly, this is on you. A lot of those details I just took directly from Stephen King novels and episodes of Pretty Little Liars.
Quote from Tahani
Tahani: Your honor, please hear our case. You frankly wouldn't believe what we've been through just to be here today.
Judge: I mean, I would, because I just learned everything about you, but keep talking. I am, like, obsessed with your accent.
Tahani: We have made so much progress and all we ask is an audience with you to prove it. Is that not your very purpose... to weigh in on matters such as ours? To paraphrase a song written by my godfather... "Hey, judge. Don't make it bad. Take a sad group and make us better."
Quote from Michael
Shawn: How could you betray your own kind like this? Who taught you how to turn a human inside out by reaching down their throat and grabbing their butt from the inside?
Michael: You did.
Shawn: You got that right, sister. And this is how you repay me.
Michael: Oh, spare me the sanctimonious lecture. You never cared about me. In the words of one of my actual friends... Ya basic. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now.