Shawn Quote #22
Quote from Shawn in The Burrito
Shawn: Just tell me why. Why would you do this?
Michael: It's not like I planned it. I was just trying to prove that humans could be made to torture each other. Instead, they helped each other and got better. They were bad people. This is not supposed to be possible. So the only explanation is that somehow, there was a mistake made and these people belong in the Good Place.
Shawn: No they don't, idiot.
Michael: Shawn, this is not fair.
Shawn: Pft, fair is the stupidest word humans ever invented, except for... Staycation.
Bad Janet: Ew.
Michael: Look, those four humans are good people and they deserve a staycation in the Good Place, and I bet the Judge will feel the same way.
Shawn: I doubt she even hears their case. But if she does, one of them will screw it up. They always do.
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Burrito’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
Shawn: So, just to be clear, you actually rebooted them over 800 times, and all of these reports of their torture are completely fake?
Michael: Yes, but frankly, this is on you. A lot of those details I just took directly from Stephen King novels and episodes of Pretty Little Liars.
Quote from Tahani
Tahani: Your honor, please hear our case. You frankly wouldn't believe what we've been through just to be here today.
Judge: I mean, I would, because I just learned everything about you, but keep talking. I am, like, obsessed with your accent.
Tahani: We have made so much progress and all we ask is an audience with you to prove it. Is that not your very purpose... to weigh in on matters such as ours? To paraphrase a song written by my godfather... "Hey, judge. Don't make it bad. Take a sad group and make us better."
Quote from Michael
Shawn: How could you betray your own kind like this? Who taught you how to turn a human inside out by reaching down their throat and grabbing their butt from the inside?
Michael: You did.
Shawn: You got that right, sister. And this is how you repay me.
Michael: Oh, spare me the sanctimonious lecture. You never cared about me. In the words of one of my actual friends... Ya basic. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now.