Michael: So that's their plan.
Jason: This doesn't seem so bad.
Michael: Yeah. It really tucks my nuggets. I worked so hard on my torture ideas, and theirs are so basic. These millennials, they have no work ethic. Oh, sorry, a millennial is someone who has only been torturing people for a thousand years. Millennial.

Tahani: I would say I outdid myself, but I'm always this good. So I simply "did myself".

Eleanor: I don't know if what I'm going to say is going to hurt or help, but screw it. Do you know what's really happening right now? You're learning what it's like to be human. All humans are aware of death. So we're all a little bit sad... all the time. That's just the deal.
Michael: Sounds like a crappy deal.
Eleanor: Well, yeah. It is. But we don't get offered any other ones. And if you try and ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway. I've been there. And everybody's been there. So don't fight it. In the words of a very wise Bed, Bath, and Beyond employee I once knew... "Go ahead and cry all you want. But you're going to have to pay for that toilet plunger."