Tahani: I would say I outdid myself, but I'm always this good. So I simply "did myself".

Eleanor: I don't know if what I'm going to say is going to hurt or help, but screw it. Do you know what's really happening right now? You're learning what it's like to be human. All humans are aware of death. So we're all a little bit sad... all the time. That's just the deal.
Michael: Sounds like a crappy deal.
Eleanor: Well, yeah. It is. But we don't get offered any other ones. And if you try and ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway. I've been there. And everybody's been there. So don't fight it. In the words of a very wise Bed, Bath, and Beyond employee I once knew... "Go ahead and cry all you want. But you're going to have to pay for that toilet plunger."

Jason: Listen, back in Jacksonville, I was in charge of a 60-person dance group. Whenever we auditioned a new dancer, we would rate them in five categories: dancing ability, coolness, dopeness, freshness, and smart-brained. I would give you an eight in every category.
Tahani: Well, eight isn't bad, I suppose.
Jason: No, no. Eight is the best. It was a scale of 1-13, but eight was highest. The scale went up and then back down like a tent.
Tahani: Why? It's not important.
Jason: Lately, you've been really down on yourself. But you're the most amazing person I've ever met... besides Michael, and he was constantly torturing us so I'd only rank him a ten.
Tahani: Which is worse than an eight? That's so unnecessarily confusing.
Jason: The point is: you're cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. I've never seen you dance, but I bet you're good. 'Cause you're good at everything. You're awesome. Be nicer to yourself.
Tahani: Thank you, Jason. From one eight to another.