Eleanor Quote #161
Quote from Eleanor in Team Cockroach
Eleanor: All right. We're all in. We'll help you.
Michael: You finally listened to reason.
Eleanor: On one condition. You wanna be on our team, you gotta be on our team. Which means the professor over here is gonna give us all lessons on how to be better people. Including you.
Michael: Oh, no. No, I won't be taking any classes. I'm an immortal being with abilities you can only dream...
Eleanor: Yeah, and we're an Arizona dirtbag, a human turtleneck, a narcissistic monster, and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.
Jason: And who am I? Describe me now.
Eleanor: We are all going to take classes. We are all going to improve. And the second you betray us, I walk into Vicky's stinky chowder restaurant and tell her everything. You agree to those terms, and you can join us on Team Cockroach. So what's it gonna be? You're running out of time. And we're your only option. [Michael chuckles softly]
The Good Place Quotes
‘Team Cockroach’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
Eleanor: If you're not human, why do you look like us?
Michael: Everyone in the Bad Place Bureau of Human Affairs gets randomly assigned a human body so we can get the feel of how best to torture you. I gotta say, it took me a long time to get used to the hanging bits.
Eleanor: Gross.
Michael: Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Eleanor. I was talking about my testicles.
Quote from Tahani
Chidi: Anyone have any ideas?
Tahani: You know, believe it or not, I actually found myself in a very similar situation a few years ago, except in that instance, Michael was Javier Bardem and the Bad Place was Vanessa Redgrave's panic room.
Eleanor: Okay, stop talking. Do not talk again for 100 hours.
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: What do we do?
Jason: We team up with Michael.
Eleanor: Okay, hot take, but I like your confidence. Tell me why.
Jason: He has a bow tie.
Eleanor: Oh, no.
Jason: I always trust dudes in bow ties. Once, this guy in a bow tie came up to me at the gun range in a Jacksonville bus station and said he'd give me $600 if I put these weird turtles in my duffle bag and brought them to Daytona Beach. So I hotwired a swamp boat to Daytona and the guy paid me the $600. My point is, you always trust dudes in bow ties.
[Eleanor slaps the lollipop out of Jason's mouth]