Doug Forcett: We are here to celebrate the life of Martin Luther Gandhi Tyler Moore, the snail. I named him/her that posthumously because I imagine him/her to be the greatest and most talented snail ever to have lived. Michael, would you care to say a few words?
Michael: [chuckles] Oh, you're serious. Yes. Um, okay. Martin was a lot of things. A snail, mostly. But also a friend. Martin taught us about life, about love, and about the limits of scotch tape.
Doug Forcett: Goodbye, Martin. Happy, slimy trails, old friend. I'm sorry, I've got to leave right away. I've decided to make a donation to the Canadian Mollusk Association in Martin's honor. Their office is in Edmonton, so it will take me about three weeks to walk there and back. Take care. Okay, look out little fellow. Heads up. Here comes a shoe.